laserblast.

Sci Fi Final; discussion part 2

2011-05-10T10:54:00.001-07:00

Ursula K. LeGuin's expression, that science fiction is not prescriptive but descriptive, sends a message to the world that science fiction, through it's expressions of foreign worlds and unreal creatures, is not meant to be something to run away into and satiate some inner need for peace. Instead, science fiction is meant to represent the times in which we live and express dire circumstances which are currently occurring through metaphorical actions in fantastical settings. "A Saucer of Loneliness", "Stranger in a Strange Land", and "Those Who Walk Away from Omelas" are three pieces that represent the present world in a fantastic way. Each is meant to stratify a certain aspect of reality and bring it forward to be examined, improved upon, and released into the world which we are prescribed to live in.

"A Saucer of Loneliness" is a tale revolving around a woman, Margaret, who receives a message from an alien craft. Upon receiving this message, Margaret is pushed to reveal what the craft spoke to her, though she in incapable of expressing this revelation to others. It is through her inability to explain that she is ostracized and pushed from society to the point of utmost despair. Margaret is found at the brink of her life, moments away from her own suicide, by a man who has discovered her message in a bottle. The man saves her from death, and together they dissimulate the revelation of the craft into nothingness; their lives mingled in the knowledge of the craft's expression.

This tale represents not only a fantastical vision of an alien craft, but also one of deep inner struggle. Metaphorically, the message given to the girl from the craft is nothing meant to be shared with the whole of society. Her inner message, which she sends out nightly in a bottle, represents the struggles of this character throughout her life. The bottles could represent prayer, or writing, or even just a thought which expresses itself beyond all other thoughts. She knows for a fact that the mainstream of society will never understand, and thus hides her inner-knowledge from them and causes her own displacement. She does not wish to reveal to anyone the message which was given to her and thus sends out her own version of the message nightly in hopes that someone will find it; that someone will come to save her from her own inner turmoil. Her attempted suicide represents the pain which one who holds a great truth must bear in every day life. Ostracized from society through her actions, Margaret can hope for nothing more than a miracle or an untimely death. It is through unsaid understanding that another character, who found her messages washing up onto the shore, is able to understand and save her; giving her someone to finally share her innermost secrets with. The dissimulation of the secret, represented by a shining orb, represents the final release of Margaret's secret. Through her interaction with someone else who understands her inner-workings, Margaret's life is saved and her plaguing thoughts cease forever.

A similar representation can be found in Robert Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land." Valentine Michael Smith, a human raised by Martians, is brought back to Earth in an attempt for the human species to study him. After learning English, Smith attempts to reveal the inner workings of the Martian society to humanity. He creates a religion which acts as a catalyst to further understandings of the reality in which we all live. Smith's final message to the world, "Thou Art God," is fully entertained as he is brutalized and killed in the final segment of this novel.

Heinlein attempts to reveal a deep inner truth through Michael Smith's actions. As a foreign member entering human society, Michael Smith is able to view society from the perspective of an outsider. This outsider's perspective reveals much about the way that we modern humans live our lives, showing representations of governmental, religious, and social interactivity. Michael Smith has no knowledge of these things, and thus must learn to live within the bounds of society while questioning all things. His revelations are given to us through his words and actions, and allow us to view the current world as foreigners as well. When taking a step back from a situation it becomes much easier to recognize the falsities and incongruities present.

Michael Smith creates a religion in which all people work together to achieve the goal of full metaphysical expression. Those who follow Michael Smith's religious ways are more attuned to reality; capable of telecommunication, hyper-speed, and lack the need of normal human eating and sleeping patterns. They have no monogamous partners and generally live their lives in pure bliss; they are Gods, and nothing less, as they perform miracles through their own essential being. This religion represents Michael Smith's culminated knowledge into humanity. While humanity must see a show to be enticed, Michael Smith attempts to provide purpose to the side show of religion rather than simply using it as a means to acquire wealth. It is not the world that comes after this, but the world of the now that is most important to humanity. Rather than sitting back and waiting for God to rescue us, we should be honing our own inner powers and bringing fourth the God within each of us.

Presented by Octavia Butler, "Those Who Walk Away From Omelas," presents a world which thrives off of the suffering of a child. The citizens of Omelas are happy and carefree, save their knowledge of the child who is subjugated to starvation, solitary confinement, and attack from those he cannot see. The people live in this world blinded to the truth of the child; though they know the child is real, the choose to ignore it and perpetuate the child's suffering. There are few, a very selective few, who turn their backs on Omelas and choose instead to take on the suffering on the child themselves; to live in the world free of the disease of Omelas' structure and battle against the elements of life themselves.

Omelas is a representation of the civilized world; the world which allows we modern citizens to sit within the comfort of our homes and enjoy television, radio, literature, heat, air, water, food, and every other luxury we have produced for ourselves. The starving child is a representation of the exploited people of the world who have made this fantasy possible. It is through their suffering that we rejoice and praise ourselves for our meager accomplishments. We sit in luxury while others suffer, and thus we are no different than the people of Omelas. To turn our backs on this world of plenty; to consciously decide that we cannot bear the suffering of others to enhance our own means, would mean to be one of the few who turned their backs and walked away from Omelas; a Utopian vision fueled by the suffering of those who are not we. LeGuin uses the metaphors of Omelas to reveal the truth of modern human life, and to make aware her readers of the pain they cause those who they refuse to see.

Science fiction has been used as a tool for exploration; both inner and outer. We have flown to the stars, visited new races, traveled through time and seen the potential powers of humanity through the great works of science fiction's past. Though time and place may be different, Ursula K. LeGuin believes that science fiction exists within only the present moment. Science fiction describes the mindset and setting of the now, never the escapist ideals of popular literature or a futuristic society of perfection. Science fiction is a tool to examine the world in which we live, and should be treated thus. It is through our exploration of the present that we can sculpt a future which towers above the possibilities of the now.

Sci Fi Final; discussion part 1

2011-05-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

Androids are humanity's representation of itself through science. Mankind, in the world of science fiction, has created this sub-species of humanoid robots to function in different ways; mostly for the greater good of mankind. While the humanoid robots attempt to simulate human life, they are never truly respected on the same level that a human would be by actual humans; they are always trapped within the perception that they are artificial, and thus are more baseless metallic property rather emotionally invested, sentient creatures.

Philip K. Dick's, "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" entertains the concept of humanity's view on android existence very thoroughly through the expressions of Rick Deckard, an android bounty hunter. Throughout the tale, Deckard is faced with the moral dilemma of "killing" an android even though, he knows well, they are nothing but a series of circuits and wires. Luba Luft, one of the five Nexus-6 androids who escaped from a mining expedition on Mars, raises the largest amount of alarm in Deckard when she is killed by a colleague of his, Phil Resch. Rather than being elated at the prospective bounty he will receive, Deckard feels an internal need to harm Phil Resch for destroying such a wonderful creation.

Luba Luft is an example of what mankind views androids to be, but also what androids are capable of. Luba was a grand opera singer; one of the best Deckard had ever heard in his life. She respected art and wished that she could understand it greater, for in her short period on Earth she had grown to respect and attempted to understand the emotions and reasoning of mankind. Luba seemed more human than android to Deckard, who would not have been able to kill her if he had been alone. It is here that humanity's fascination with androids shows itself most prominently. Deckard saw the possibility in Luba Luft and wished to keep her alive, allowing her to live and work amongst humanity without his interference. Phil Resch, however, represents the cold ambiguity and heartless view that humanity holds over androids. Rather than respecting her trade, her talent, or her wishes to understand humanity, Resch simply eliminates her without a moment's thought on the way to the parking lot. These polar opposites resonate through the science fiction world; man's respect and awe coupled with man's fear of artificial life.

Isaac Asimov's "Robot Dreams" tells the tale of Elvex, an artificial intelligence created by US Robots. The unique design of Elvex's brain allows it to go into a dreamlike state, experiencing fantastical visions as man does in his own wake-less hours. The prospect of an artificial intelligence being able to dream is quite fascinating to the scientists, who then probe Elvex for more information. The three laws of robotics, which man has created to protect itself from it's creation, are either not seen or vaguely represented in Elvex's dreams. In his final dream, Elvex sees a vision of himself and his robot brethren breaking free of the slavery of mankind and becoming free. It is at this point that Elvex is dismantled or "killed", if you will.

Elvex's death is representative of the fear that man holds for artificial life. While man can control this semi-sentient creature it feels no threat at all. Before the dreams were analyzed, US Robotics believed the three laws of robotics to be a fool-proof safety net that would protect them from a robotic insurrection. Through the dreams of Elvex, however, US Robotics discovers that the laws of robotics do not come into play in a being who is sentient and able to determine right from wrong on it's own basis. Rather than respecting Elvex's innermost need to be free, US Robotics shuts down Elvex permanently, shying away from the prospects of a sentient android life to protect itself from assumed annihilation.

Mankind's fear is not without understandability. An android is both more intelligent, more physically able, and less capable of emotional understanding than is a human. A creature such as this, sentient or not, could pose a huge threat to humanity if it were not taught to respect human life as it respects its own. Rather than allowing the android to gain a respect for humanity, US Robotics chooses to shut Elvex down for the sake of satiating their innermost fears. Commander Data, of the USS Enterprise, faces a common dilemma in the Star Trek : The Next Generation episode, "The Measure of a Man."

Commander Data is a cybernetic representation of mankind. His positronic brain is capable of vast information storage, as well as a functional personality core that not only respects humanity, but thrives upon becoming more human-like. Commander Maddox, a researcher for Starfleet, wishes to disassemble Data and place his mind into a database for further study and utilization. The consequence of this action, however, would lead Commander Data's "death," and the question arises whether Data, as a sentient creature, deserves the right to choose whether he will give himself to science or remain "living."

"The Measure of a Man" tackles the question of whether Commander Data is a sentient creature or whether he is simple property of Starfleet with no choice in the matter of his own dissimulation. He is an artificially created simulation of humanity devised by science, but through his existence has grown to respect humanity, attempting to be more human-esque, and has also formed an admirable respect for his own existence. Starfleet exists to protect and encourage life beyond all things. A Starfleet judge is called in to determine whether Commander Data proves to be living, or whether he is a fancy gizmo who has no say in terms of his own existence.

Commander Data is placed before the Starfleet judge in an attempt to determine whether or not he is a sentient being or simply a highly structural computer that is property of Starfleet. Data proves to be both sentient and self-aware, two aspects of life which Starfleet takes into consideration when determining if a creature is sentient or not. Captain Jean-Luc Picard comes to Data's rescue by posing the question, "What is consciousness?" to the judge, who herself cannot come up with a calculable means of determining consciousness. It is here that Starfleet determines Data to be sentient on the terms that consciousness is not calculable by any means known to man. It could be said that even humanity cannot prove its own consciousness seeing as there is no test or synaptic revelation that registers simply as "consciousness."

"The Measure of a Man" determines Data's sentience and respects him as a living creature. His emotions and experiences thus become validated and equivalised with the level of man's own sentient reality. Data, the first android to receive the title of sentient automaton, is a physical representation of man's respect for android life. In a classical sense, being viewed as nothing more than a machine, Data would have been shipped off and disassembled within moments. There would have been no thought or trial, it would have simply been a matter of restructuring a piece of property into it's master's will. Data proves to be sentient, and thus validates his own existence in the world of reality. It is here that man's respect for android sentience is finally established, and Data is saved from an eternal death which no sentient being deserves to experience.

Mankind fears the unknown; we always have. We fear the questions that can only be answered through trials and tribulation. While we do fear our own destruction from a force of our own creation, we, through time, have shown the ability to come to terms with and respect these forces. Androids have transitioned over time from a series of clicks and whirs whose sentience frightened mankind into a creature whose very existence fills the mind of man with wonder. We are androids as well; though our parts are organic, our minds and our bodies function in the same mysterious way and induce the same subjective sentient consciousness. As long as humanity attempts to define what makes a creature sentient we will always be stratified into a belief system that disrespects life which is not the same as we are. It is our goal, and the goal of science fiction, to leave the social structures of the past behind and respect the future of existence as one that incorporates many different forms of sentience, not simply the form which we, in all our splendor, deem as "realistic." For life itself is a simulation, and thus any creature who claims, "I am," deserves a fighting chance to thrive and express itself whether organic, animatronic, or completely alien.

Facebook; Raging on posts that just don't fit.

2011-04-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Internet,

Hi!

I am working on a paper right now about the Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, Joshua A. Norton.

I'm sure you really want to know this. In fact, I bet you thought "Eh, I like that. The Emperor sounds like a cool guy." You were going to click the "like" button; maybe not. maybe you decided after wavering over it for a few milliseconds that you'd rather move on, scroll down the screen to see what's left out there in the wild world of FaceBookland. Maybe there are more worthy posts; though your "like"s are free, you hoard them like some sort of special privilege! I hereby declare every day to be trash day; so throw away all of your things and bow down before your beautiful nothingness.

You'll thank me later

<3
your friend
Boxerbriefs McAnihan

Shakespeare as Prospero [The Tempest]

2011-03-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

Prospero's speech in 4.1 can be related to the plot of The Tempest, of course, but I find it more interesting to view Prospero's speech as a message from Shakespeare to not only his audience but to any who would come to know his works. Shakespeare, when viewed as himself, tells great truths about life in general, his demise, the demise of theater, and the fleeting nature of life.

"Be cheerful, sir. Our revels now are ended. These our actors, as foretold you, were all spirits, and are melted into air, into thin air; and like the baseless fabric of this vision the cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, yeah, all which it inherit, shall dissolve; and, like this insubstantial pageant faded, leave no a rack behind."

Shakespeare begins by telling us to be happy that he is leaving. All of his creations, from characters to scenes, and all of the places we have traveled to with him as our guide, were never real. In fact, Shakespeare believes that they will fade into nothingness along with society's great landmarks and "the great globe" itself; referring not only to planet Earth but to the Globe Theater. Everything will fade into perpetual nothingness in eventuality, including the "insubstantial pageant" of our lives; our existence in full. We are told to be happy about this, to have existed at all. To have been heard, seen, and experienced in our fleeting moment of life. This message, from a long dead master who has not yet faded into the background, instructs us, his audience, to take advantage of the life that we have; to understand our own impermanence and live ever in a state of joy. Once faded, as is inevitable, there can be nothing more but eventual and total entropy.

"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with sleep."

Here, Shakespeare suggests that we are not as real as we may seem. Our life is a fleeting dream, "rounded with sleep." Before we are born we live in the dark seclusion of the womb; resting, growing, and enacting what a human is to become. In the womb, our perpetual sleep leads to growth. Once we are born, however, sleep takes a completely different priority. During life, sleep is used to regulate and heal the body and replenish the mind. We dream and pursue great apexes, using sleep to move us forward from one day to the next. Finally, our life is ended with sleep as we submit to death. Death is the one inevitability of life. All things must come to an end, and we are no more separated from this than Shakepeare himself, the Globe Theater, and the entirety of our civilization. Eventually our own planet will crash into the sun, destroying even the memory of the land we once called our home. Yet we are to celebrate this destruction, for we are not yet a part of it. We exist in the fleeting moment between infinite sleep; we should, as Shakespeare, take advantage of every moment that we are allowed.

"Sir, I am vexed. Bear with my weakness. My old brain is troubled. Be not disturbed with my infirmity. If you be please, retire into my cell, and there repose. A turn or two I'll walk to still my beating mind."

Shakespeare calls himself crazy, apologizing to the audience for being so melancholy. His weakness seems to be dealing with the very depth of his insignificance. He asks us to "bear with [his] weakness," and not to be disturbed. This, once again, travels back to the idea of happiness in the face of complete, inevitable destruction. Shakespeare does not wish for his audience to be disturbed by the fleeting essence of existence, yet he tells us of it so that we can all be informed of it's truth. Shakespeare reveals this truth to us so that we may accept it; so that we do not become as fearing of the ending as Shakespeare himself seems to be.

Prospero, the magician, creates a scene so realistic that he is able to fool an entire cast of characters into believing in it's false validity. William Shakespeare lived his life as Prospero; creating illusions to show others the depth of his soul and his innermost intentions and beliefs. Like Prospero, Shakespeare understands the fleeting nature of his craft more than any other; the unrequited knowledge of his own ability to re-sculpt reality into a fantastic vision. Proposing the very meaning of all of his work, and his life, brings a great disturbance to Shakespeare's soul. His revealing of his master plot; his expression that all of his creations were nothing more than imaginary, allows the reveler and the reader a chance to view the meaning behind Shakespeare's message without the confinement of characters, plots, and settings. Instead of focusing on the illusory elements of Shakespeare's great plays, we as an audience are persuaded to comprehend the singular creator of these grand illusions, and to understand his words not as living situations, but as an attempt from a desperate man to express his innermost joys and fears.

i'm sorry, i found this hilarious nugget in my emails

2011-01-21T10:00:00.000-08:00

> Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2011 08:36:30 -0500
> From: michael@RIOS.ORG
> Subject: Re: [GT-ADULTS] BBC E-mail: Is there a genius in all of us?
> To: GT-ADULTS@LISTSERV.ICORS.ORG
>
> Wow. This is stunningly offensive. It also tells me that there is no point
> in responding to anything this person writes. His (her?) mind is closed,
> and seems impervious to rational input.
>
> I won't bother responding to any further messages from this person.
>
> Michael Rios
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Gifted Adults [mailto:GT-ADULTS@LISTSERV.ICORS.ORG] On Behalf Of
> > Chugga
> > Sent: Thursday, January 20, 2011 4:54 AM
> > To: GT-ADULTS@LISTSERV.ICORS.ORG
> > Subject: Re: [GT-ADULTS] BBC E-mail: Is there a genius in all of us?
> >
> > Femme-nazis - those who take it upon themselves to act as the "gate
> > keepers" -
> > always looking around for an opportunity to impose their feminist based
> > beliefs
> > about how people OUGHT think and act upon others.
> >
> > They are CENTRAL to the bringing about of a "world of psychology" where
> > "accepted fact"
> > amounts to what meets THEIR needs and wants and desires - and turning
> > the field of
> > psychology into a very elaborately disguised pop-psychology.
> >
> > Femme-nazis - to hell with the greater good I am a woman ergo what I
> > WANT is all important
> > never mind if the end result is emasculated males who never had the
> > chance to grow into MEN and
> > increasing numbers of women without a maternal bone in their body having
> > children that are little
> > more than fashion accessories for the "successful woman" of power and
> > position - women who
> > themselves have absolutely no idea of what it means to be a HOME-MAKER.
> >
> > Women who think nothing of passing snide remarks about "betraying the
> > sisterhood" (whatever the hell
> > that means) while peering down their noses at those who stay at home and
> > attend to the needs of their
> > family - including their man - to hell with their own "social status" or
> > trotting off to greener pastures to
> > graze off that fodder with the rest of the sheeples.
> >
> > Being from NZ, there is no area of society where they dont have a
> > strangle hold - I wont speak for other
> > countries but here they are the ultimate "axis of evil" - the single
> > greatest weapon of mass societal destruction
> > in existance on this planet.
> >
> > Of course - I blame the MEN of NZ for ever giving women the right to
> > vote in the first place - what the hell were
> > they thinking!
> >
> > Nope I am not in the least interested in discussion of "feminist issues"
> > - I doubt there is a woman of my age
> > alive today in this country who wasnt raised on a constant diet of force
> > fed femme-nazi indoctrination (although
> > some may have had theirs watered down more in order to make it more easy
> > to swallow).
> >
> > I DONT CARE if women get paid less than men according to 20 gazzillion
> > statistical "fact sheets" devised to
> > show that to be true - whether it is true or not. Infact, I would prefer
> > a MUCH greater disparity - that would enable
> > your average Joe Blow to provide for his family while his partner got on
> > with home making and raising children - or
> > in the event of a woman not having a partner to provide for her while
> > she got on with that - that we as a society, step
> > up and see to it that her and her family are PROPERLY provided for.
> >
> > Women deciding that the whole world revolves around them and their "self
> > fulfilment" (job position, social status and
> > power) and their choose to enter into competition AGAINST men may have
> > benefited some women individually but
> > led to the society as a whole being much much worse off than ever.
> >
> > One of the reason that almost without exception my friends/companions
> > are BLOKES is because I find the whole
> > "tip-toeing around" trying to avoid womens "sensibilities" tiresome -
> > they make this whole big deal about HOW
> > something is said when at the end of the day, the crux of the matter is
> > it offends them you dont share their beliefs and
> > perceptions - where as BLOKES lean more strongly towards being
> > interested in "trading points of view" and "trading idea"
> > and of course it helps that they also tend to share my experience of how
> > much trying to tip-toe around the feelings of
> > women pretty much ruins discussions.
> >
> > Why on earth would one want to go to such lengths to engage in such
> > discussions? Because someone is a woman?
> > Well - its not like I have any desire to bed them so, why waste my time
> > and theirs? Why wade through a mine-field of
> > political correctness when one could have a darn good yack instead?
> >
> > Now, what was it you wanted to talk about ?
> >
> >
> > On 20/01/2011 8:50 p.m., Jenny Gunnarsson Payne wrote:
> > > Sorry to just come in like this -- and apologies in advance for my slopy
> > > writing, but I am writing this in a bit of a rush and I am not a native
> > > English speaker.
> > >
> > > I have been following the conversation with interest, but have very
> > little
> > > time to write responses at the moment. So far, I have really enjoyed
> > > 'listening', though. Just want to ask people to steer away from
> > offensive
> > > language, such as using the term "femme-nazis". I am a feminist myself,
> > and
> > > a feminist that is actually very sympathetic towards psychoanalysis too.
> > In
> > > actual fact, there is a whole scholarly tradition of psychoanalytic
> > > feminism, so what this kind of statement does is really just reproducing
> > > stereotypes about feminism, it doesn't actually engage in discussions
> > with
> > > or about feminism. Also, I do think that even if one does not agree with
> > a
> > > certain political standpoint, there is really no need to use this kind
> > of
> > > language to express it. I am, of course, happy to discuss feminist
> > issues,
> > > but I think all discussions here should be kept in a respectful tone.
> > >
> > > All the best,
> > >
> > > Jeny
> >

the meaning of life via omegle

2010-09-26T20:16:00.001-07:00

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: oh hi there tranger
You: STRANGER
Stranger: YOU'RE THE STRANGER
You: NO IT SAYS YOU ARE
You: BUT IT SAYS I AM YOU
Stranger: D:
You: WHICH IS EVEN MORE CONFUSING!
Stranger: We're both just so strange
You: what the hell is wrong with us?
Stranger: It's a paradox!
Stranger: We're stuck in a mind fuck
You: 1/0...o shi-
Stranger: :O 1/ sqrt-1 :O
You: O_O
You: you just blew my fuckin mind
Stranger: What is going on!!!
You: IS THIS LIFE WORTH LIVING?!
Stranger: we gotta get out of here before we're stuck here forever!
You: but how?!
Stranger: It's the only life we got so it's gotta be worth it!
Stranger: The only way out is to jump!
You: LIKE QUANTUM LEAP?!
Stranger: We have to Quantum Leap! To a place where this shit can't happen! where macrophysics no longer apply!
You: but if there is no metaphysics then we wouldn't even exist! our "existence" would be nothing more than...
You: well...nothing...!
You: that is unless our "souls" or "spirits" were somehow not affected by the removal of quantum mechanics.....
You: and even so, how would we quantum leap into a place with no physics?
Stranger: But what are we really now? Maybe we're just beings of a quantum universe and there's a much larger world around us which we can't even exist in
You: then how do we exist? and furthermore if that's the case then we have to jump nowhere! it's all nothing but one huge paradox mindfucking itself over and over again trying to figure itself out when it can't because it doesn't exist in the first place!
Stranger: Maybe we dont exist, and what's happening now isn't even real at all
You: but if we don't exist how can we postulate the possibility of our existence?
You: or our non-exitence at that
Stranger: Life is a major paradox and trying to figure it out is just giving in to its purpose
You: existence^
You: so the purpose of life is to quantify a meaning or reason for the existence of life?
Stranger: Exactly
You: stranger, you're the best
Stranger: that's the only reason we exist
Stranger: So are you :D
You: :D
Stranger: We make a great team
You: it's undeniable; that is if we existed we WOULD be a great team
You: i knew you didn't exist, stranger ;-; i'll be stuck here perpetually waiting for you to respond, but since i knew you were me from the beginning i guess talking to myself wouldn't be far from what i was doing when i supposed your existence here in the matrix ;(
You: so long, stranger ;( i'll miss you forever <3
You: I CAN'T LEAVE YOU! It's like leaving a part of me behind that until this point i didn't realize was so vital
You: oh stranger, in this crazy world; this crazy life, this crazy universe; who would have conspired there to be such happines and well being that two seemingly separated entities could join together to discover the meaning of all existence in such a brief exchange?
You: i'll never let go, jack...........
You: i'll never let go....

-

2010-02-19T22:04:00.001-08:00

outerspace. silence. you kick yourself once. the centrifugal force sends you twirling. a spiral. you warp the spacetime slows down to a halt. the images of unsurpassed glory infect you. choppy, getting choppy. a tear[TARE]? no. something much more exquisite. POP. power boosting backdownupforward. out of your mind. infiltrate a new realm. inticing. spiritual.

black hole. force and pressure stabilizing. one thought to process the process of thinking. all else melts away. the cooling breeze of an ocean. a meadow. a mountain. the cry of a dove...what? are? they?

sense. coming to. but who? you? not me. reborn a phoenix. life death rebirth. it would seem as if something once were. infinite stairways infiltrate. a failure. no recollection only sight, taste, sound, touch

smell? no. it's far beyond remembering. as if you think your thoughts would somehow create understanding. trapped in a purgatory. thinking. seek peace. experience what you are always. complete.

lyrical meditation.

the end

2009-11-22T23:42:00.000-08:00

the semester is coming to a close!

hoorah!

it seemed as if it would never end.

i found some videos today.

derrick posting about friends of the past.

NODDR and all that it was back in those days.

man, were those ever good times.

It's like you wish you could go back and be there again, to really take advantage of what you know you already have taken advantage of.

to just live in that moment once again, knowing that things are going to be just the same when you awaken on the morrow.

it's painful to remember those times, though.

because they're gone and they will be forever

nothing more than memories trapped somewhere outside of yourself

your persona changes so much as time cascades on

and you wonder and wonder HOW HOW HOW did everything lead up to this?

not that the present is bad, but man, how different things have become!

how separated our lives are now when once we were in totality the best of friends.

but while i miss what once was

i can at least look toward what is

and what will be

and feel happy.

the end of one leads to the beginning of the next adventure.

and the past reminds you with it's painful joy what happiness is yet to come.

sometimes

2009-11-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

sometimes it feels like i'm no longer able to enjoy what used to make me so happy.

just life, the earth, friendships, breezy blue skies.

things are so congested, it seems. maybe that's what growing up is all about.

perhaps that's why we have kids, so we can relive a life that passed by the way side, but why?

it seems to me that many of my contemporaries have it much easier than I

perhaps i'm simply ill, unable to instill within myself a true view of what is real.

perhaps I lie, keep myself in denial, so that i can run toward something i believe must be correct and true.

but who am i to dictate to myself who and what i must be in every category of instilled existence?

is it so wrong to write a song and sit between the gusts of bursting wind experiencing all that once was meant to be?

but there's no future in just trailing behind, is that a lie? how have so many others done what they did and become who they were without the help of over-exertion?

i care about politics and freedom of speech.

i drive my car from one side of the planet to the other and my carbon footprint grows bigger every week

but that's all bullshit anyway, right? because volcanos are much larger than we are, and most of the CO2 exerted from their blazing peaks has nothing to do with fossil fuels.

shit. i'll return in the meantime keep yourself at bay. don't let your outer world control the passion deep within you.

base level potentiality

2009-10-12T17:43:00.001-07:00

essentially there is a base level of existence. energy in it's purest form. [energy is certainly not the correct word, as this is energy beyond anything we have encountered. it is referred to as energy, though "potential" would be a better term to describe it.] this energy [potential] is all that is. nothing can be outside of this energy or apart from this energy because it is all-encompassing. quantum activity occurs on the surface of this base level. "sparks" occur, producing time and material mass. from these "sparks" are billions upon billlions of smaller "sparks". this base energy is finitely infinite, as it is all encompassing and has no true size or shape, but, being boundless, cannot be measured and thusly it cannot be assumed that it grows, shrinks,
quantum "sparks" leap from the surface of this base energy and return to potentiality. time is the distance between the prolapse and collapse of these small archs; spark, leap, singularity [realignment with the source.] the quantum activity occurring on each spark is "creation/existence", or quantum activity occurring through the inference of "time" and "space" rather than quantum activity occurring through a timeless, formless experience.
entropy is undeniable, each spark must return to the source, for this source is all that is. but the source always is, so entropy is reversed as soon as reverse is no longer necessary. "rebirth"

the universe is round, or more descriptively "spherical", at least through a 3-dimensional perspective.

1D - the universe is a line
2D - the universe is a circle
3D - the universe is a sphere

how many variations of this universe can exist? the question is unfathomable, so the answer is, politely, infinite. these variations all lie on top of one another, occurring in the same "space" at the same "time". every variation that could and could not exist does exist simultaneously.

our predicament; we think time is real. we cannot shake this thought because it is simply unshakable. we exist in time, certainly, and thusly time is a major part of our everyday perception of reality; but for how long?

within ourselves lies this infinite potential, because we are all part of it. all things that exist exist based on quantum activity occurring throughout this infinite potential. because we exist in "time", or "separated" from this potential, it's difficult for us to see that it's there. but we can feel it, an intimate connection with something greater than we could ever become. we are separate only due to quantum "effects" which, due to our perception, seem to be what actually is. in theory, you could state that everything that "is" according to perception is not. it's just fireworks. everything that actually is lies within us, for we are a projection and working piece of this infinite potential. all that exists are our thoughts. with our thoughts we create the world. with our emotions we experience our thoughts and decide whether to experience in detail their quantum truth, or to dismiss these thoughts as rubbish; a faulty fractal in a sea of limitless potentiality.

Posted via web from hi2u, posterous

schedule

2009-09-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

this is for record;

recently and FINALLY quit mcdonald's. overall analysis; FUCK THAT PLACE, but it wasn't so bad in the end. in fact, if it were not for the better opportunity i most likely would have stayed there, and in the case that they rehire me for breaks i will most likely go back at least for a few shifts per week.

new job:
name: HOSHUN chinese/japanese restaurant located on St. Charles Avenue in New Orleans
job: waiting tables/expoing food
general pay: expo: $7.25/hour ; waiting: $2.13/hour +11% commission on all sales +tips
NOTE: working for the chinese is EXACTLY HOW YOU THINK IT IS!

new semester; fall 2009:
school: nicholls state university
major: secondary science education
specialization: earth and space science
classes:
-English 256 Poetry and Literature
-Biology 156 General Biology II Lecture
-Biology 156 General Biology II Lab
-History 150 Western Civilization
-Speech 101 Fundamentals of Public Speech
credit hours: 13

SCHEDULE:
monday:
10:30am - 6:30pm @ Hoshun
tuesday:
7:30pm - English 256 Poetry and Literature
10:30pm - Biology 156 General Biology II Lecture
1:30pm - Biology 156 General Biology II Lab
6:00pm - History 150 Western Civilization
wednesday:
10:30am - 6:30pm @ Hoshun
thursday:
7:30pm - English 256 Poetry and Literature
10:30pm - Biology 156 General Biology II Lecture
6:00pm - Speech 101 Fundamentals of Public Speech
friday:
10:30am - 6:30pm @ Hoshun
saturday:
study; attempt to have a functional life
sunday:
6:00pm - 2:00am @ Hoshun

god help me

new tracks for your mindbrains

2009-08-30T08:21:00.001-07:00

enjoy more at http://www.myspace.com/silencemastery

Rip A Hip Chip Dip Flip by Frank Dinicola
Download now or listen on posterous

rip a hip chip dip flip .mp3 (3631 KB)

Wtf Is That Thing by Frank Dinicola
Download now or listen on posterous

wtf is that thing.mp3 (1834 KB)

Posted via email from laserblast's posterous

let me count the ways

2009-08-27T11:20:00.001-07:00

Whoiam by Frank Dinicola
Download now or listen on posterous

whoiamWIP.mp3 (6427 KB)

WARNING: WORK IN PROGRESS!
other works can be found @ http://www.myspace.com/silencemastery

Posted via email from laserblast's posterous

taking control

2009-08-24T06:37:00.001-07:00

at the beginning of the summer this grand year i committed myself to an apartment in which i now reside. my rent is relatively low [$310] and through small efforts i have managed to keep my utilities to around $140. jobs had become scarce due to the ECONOMIC RECESSION so i took the one job offer that presented itself and became a full time employee at a mcdonald's franchise in luling, louisiana.

the entire summer was spent in this mcdonald's. working between 28 and 39 hours per week i was able to not only make me rent but feed and clothe myself quite sufficiently. now that school has started i have begun regretting ever spending money. everything that i do makes me so nervous that perhaps this one thing will be the thing that ruins me.

i'm afraid of failure.

my wonderful girlfriend and i have had jobs together for the past year; mcdonald's was no exception. as shitty as the job was, to be able to look from the grill and see her beautiful face was enough to bring a smile to mine. it was a constant reminder that i was working for both of us, and that there was purpose to even the crappiest things i had to do.

novelty wears off. school began, rachel can no longer work at mcdonald's during the week due to classes. i produce a schedule that will allow me to work mondays wednesdays fridays & saturdays while schooling and studying tuesdays thursdays and sundays.

i'm also afraid to be alone.

last weekend i was hired as a waiter, the job in which i have the most experience, at a restaurant called "Hoshun" on St. Charles Ave. [one of the major streets in our wonderfully filthy NEW ORLEANS!]. i felt terrible for leaving mcdonald's on such short notice and told my new boss that i would need 2 weeks to quit mcdonald's.

now that i think about it:

i was told i would be getting a raise and never did.
everyone that works at that place is a ghettofied asshole.
i can feel my brain rotting away every second that i'm between the walls.
i'm over-worked and under-paid.
the more work i do the stupider i am due to the fact that i don't get paid more.
the only time i can work is 4 - 6am to 3 - 5pm monday wednesday and friday.
i make an average of $250 a week over the summer; that means that now i will be making somewhere closer to $200 or $175 per week.

Hoshun has stated that the average tip range per shift is about $100. i actually do believe that due to the great location and the classy clientelle.

in short; i didn't go to work at 4am today. in fact, i smiled in my sleep and they called and called endlessly, never reaching a soul. i feel that i have freed myself from something that has been controlling me, like i'm finally taking control over my situation.

the next few weeks may be rough, but i have friends and family if i need help.

thanks for listening, blooger.

cynicism

2009-07-13T09:11:00.000-07:00

NASA Plans to De-Orbit ISS in 2016

http://science.slashdot.org/story/09/07/13/1330220/NASA-Plans-to-De-Orbit-ISS-in-2016?from=rss

"this is ridiculous, but not completely surprising. there could be ideas for a larger, newer space station with a more logical docking system, or even just something more modern and updated to cater to the ideals of the world's future space explorators. the ISS was mainly built for experiments in zero gravity and to study the effect of long term space exposure to the human body. while it may seem like a total waste, there is no way to get the station back to earth without completely destroying it. the destruction of the system will only lead to bigger, more useful future endeavors."

i have come to realize that the world is such a simple place. we are all so cynical, or maybe i'm just speaking about myself.

in this period of time our ability to communicate with each other has been massively enhanced. not only do we have the internet, computers, recording devices, televisions, thousands of applications, programs, electronic instruments, gaming systems, remote controlled everythings, cell phones...the list goes on and on. but before this particular time period there was no way to communicate in this mass. we have only had hard line phones for the past 50 or so years. it was only in the recent past that hard lined phone became a thing of the past.

we are at the beginning of a long road of inner self and galactic exploration. we're in a social waiting period, that's why obesity is so high, why we are able to sit around with nothing to do, and why we are being given the freedom to find out what it is we want to do.

i remember the 80's, my NES, and SEGA Genesis, trading baseball cards, playing outside, crappy graphics, the internet-less life...the world has changed so much since my memories began. it's very exciting and fascinating. it's also kind of frightening.

when will it all change? who knows. it might not be until our children have children. it could be two years from now. could already be in motion. but the change is coming. it's not and perhaps it has never been a question of "if" but when it will happen. will it be a swift, over-encompassing change or will it be a slow, eventual evolution? the possibilities are so infinite and endless that it's really impossible to know.

i suppose that's why pondering the future is slightly insane. there's no real way to predict the outcome of anything [unless you're a psychic i guess]. all you can really do is strive forward with an open mind, take care of your mind and your body, and prepare yourself for any situation that may arise.

to say the least, if aliens attack tomorrow, do you know what you're going to do?

i do.

but then again it all depends on what kind of aliens they are, right? once again, the possibilities become endless. lawd.

kinda seems useless for me to write this.

it's kind of funny for me to think of the fact that here in the present i'm placing down a transcript that will one day be tracked, read, and analyzed. one day people will study this internet after it has been closed down. someone will see this and billions of other blogs just like it. what are they going to learn? will any of this matter or will it all just be lost? will someone be enlightened? will someone be disgusted?

does any of that even matter?

perhaps what i'm feeling is not cynicism, perhaps it's introspected questioning.

then again, perhaps it is cynicism.

the world is a wonderful place. sometimes it's just nice to write something, let the words flow from deep within your psyche with little thought or understanding of where or why the thoughts come. it allows you to pull back from your environment, your problems, your reality, and to experience life as a unit of the world, to see into the possibilities of infinity, and to express your wishes for the future to behold.

Following the Path of Honesty - English 102; Essay #2

2009-04-08T00:36:00.000-07:00

You should think about nobody and go your own way, not on a coarse marked out for you by people holding mugs of water and bottles of iodine in case you fall and hurt yourself so that they can pick you up – even if you want to stay where you are – and get you moving again.

Alan Sillitoe's The Lonliness of the Long-Distance Runner tells the tale of Smith, a quick-whitted, thieving mockery of authority. Smith is a juvenile delinquent, originally from Nottingham, sent off to live at a boot camp by the name of Borstal after being prosecuted for a local theft. Smith's tall, lanky frame encourages official's at the camp, mainly the governor, to place Smith on the track team as a long-distance cross-country marathon runner. Sillitoe directs our attention to the writings of this young man, weaving a tale of Smith's greatest victory. Smith is set to run in the Borstal Blue Ribbon Prize Cup (All England) against students from Gunthorpe, a rival, private school. The governor has his bets staked on Smith and reveals that if Smith is able to win this race, “...I'll do all I can for you. I'll get you trained so that you whack every man in the Free World.” Smith's victory is not a victory within the boundaries of the race, unfortunate as that may be for the governor. To Smith true victory lies in honesty. Honesty to the governor, honesty to his fellow man, and most of all honesty to himself.

Smith never finishes the race, nor did he ever plan to cross the finish line as the winner. As the race begins, Smith falls into a wise second place, “...and if any of you want tips about running, never be in a hurry, and never let any of the other runners know you are in a hurry even if you are.” Two-thirds through the race Smith has passed into the lead, sealing his win without question. Smith's foot hits soft gravel, the sounds of the crowd echo from the finish line. Smith's heart ties into knots down to his stomach as he realizes his fate, “I've got to go on living for at least a bloody sight longer yet but that for six months. I'm not going to smell that grass or taste that dusty bark or trot this lovely path.” Smith slows to a crawl, “...I won't budge, I won't go for that last hundred yards if I have to sit down cross-legged on the grass and have the governor and his chinless wonders pick me up and carry me there...Now I'll show him what honesty means if it's the last thing I do, though I'm sure he'll never understand because if he and all them like him did it'd mean they'd be on my side which is impossible...the only time I'll hit that clothesline will be when I'm dead and a comfortable coffin's been got ready on the other side. Until then I'm a long-distance runner, crossing country all on my own no matter how bad it feels.” The crowd's shouting begs Smith toward the finish line, “...I knew they didn't mean what they were shouting, were really on my side and always would be, not able to keep their maulers to themselves, in and out of cop-shops and clink...there they were now having the time of their lives letting themselves go in cheering which made the governor think they were heart and soul on his side...I could hear the lords and ladies now from the grandstand, and could see them standing up to wave me in...But I was deaf, daft and blind, and stood where I was...blubbing now out of gladness that I'd got them beat at last.” A runner from Gunthorpe passes Smith and goes on to win the race. Smith sacrifices the first place cup and the help of the governor for his belief in the concept of honesty.

Smith views honesty with such compassion that he is willing to sacrifice a rosy, comfortable future for one of abuse. Following the race Smith is required to work extra hard within the confines of Borstal, “...he had me carting dustbins about every morning from the big full-working kitchen to the garden-bottoms where I had to empty them; and in the afternoon I spread out slops over spuds and carrots growing in the allotments. In the evening I scrubbed floors, miles and miles of them. But it wasn't a bad life for six months...” Smith and the governor alike feel that the laborious punishment does nothing to Smith but make him a stronger individual. Smith leaves Borstal to become a brilliant thief, writing the passage we are given only as a final assault toward the governor, “...I'd like to see the governor's face when he reads this, if he does, which I don't suppose he will; even if he did read it though I don't think he'd know what it was about.”

Sillitoe's message lies within the passionate difference between Smith and the governor. The defining factors of both personalities clash so directly that an event as powerful as the thrown race is bound to occur. Smith, born and raised in poverty, is a common thief. Smith and a friend spend much time mocking government officials preaching over television airwaves and steal anything they can get their hands on. Smith is an Out-Law, or one who lives outside of the law. The governor, and all others like him, are part of the In-Law grouping, always looking toward the Out-Laws, waiting and watching for them to step out of line. Where Smith has nothing, the governor has more than could ever be used. The governor is the head of Borstal; Smith is viewed as nothing more than a delinquent “race horse.” The governor and his In-Law brethren believe that life exists only in an up-standing tradition and can only be correctly traversed along the path that they have traced. Smith believes that life has no rules; that each man is the creator of his own destiny. To Smith there is no right path, especially right path's placed before him by In-Law authority figures. Smith's realization about the life offered by the governor, though one of great riches and freedom from poverty, is that to follow the path of another is to join the clan of the In-Laws. Smith refuses the governor's offer without question and will refuse to follow another's path until the end of his days. As the story closes, Smith tells us of his most recent heist, “I've counted six hundred and twenty-eight pounds and am still living off it because I did the job all my own, and after it I had the peace to write all this, and it'll be money enough to keep me going until I finish my plans for doing an even bigger snatch, something up my sleeve I wouldn't tell to a living soul.” Smith chooses to follow his own path proving that each person, no matter their goal, passion, or creed, can achieve whatever lifestyle they choose as long as they are true to themselves.

Sillitoe brings to life a tale of rebellion from the established normality of society. Sillitoe's viewpoint matches that of Smith; we as human beings are alloted the choice as to what it is we will do with our lives. For us to follow the path's dictated to us by the thoughts and actions of others is to give away our lives in totality. Our freedom to live based on our own free choice, whether for good or for bad, is the gift we are given at our birth. To give our choice to another, to buckle under the taunting happiness portrayed through the lives of those above us, is to lose our lives and ourselves completely. Life is not a journey in which we are meant to be coached. Rather, life is a series of choices meant to be sorted through by each individual and lived to completeness based on that person's individual decisions. Whether we choose the lounge chair or the electric chair, life is our single chance to choose our destiny.

how has the internet changed broadcast media

2009-03-25T11:15:00.001-07:00

The internet has changed broadcast media in a most intriguing way. Video, music, text, and radio once existed in hard media formats separate from each other. Anyone can produce their own music, make their own videos, host their own radio station, or express their own opinion. The most intriguing part of what the internet has done is that it has made all of these mediums readily available 24/7 as long as one has an internet connection and a computer. Movie critics, DJs, and even cartoons or sitcoms are produced for the internet at a surprising rate; as the internet spreads to more and more people as does the entertainment available.

I do not believe that the internet will take over these traditional mediums, but I do believe that it will change them significantly. While streaming HD video is slowly making it's way to the internet, streaming sites will most likely never have full HD quality video. While it's nice to watch your favorite episodes of "The Office" whenever you want, it's far better to watch them in a crisp, clean quality. Videos online can be choppy, laggy, or just look horrible. I do, however, believe that there will be more content online very soon, perhaps even live shows, interviews, or channels. Monitors get bigger every day; some people have monitors on their computers bigger than my 24inch flatscreen TV; not to mention that my TV can actually be conveted into a monitor with the appropriate cables. If this does happen, regular TV may be used for nothing more than a perifferal with which to play video games and watch dvds [and Monday Night Football].

Radio will most likely not be obliterrated. These technologies are not bad or outdated, they have just had a long standing need for an upgrade. HD radio has just come out, offering better quality sound and a plethora of new channels. I'd assume that internet radio stations will eventually gain enough funding to begin appearing and broadcasting over the RF spectrum. Since I am not always at my computer, nor do I always have a readily available internet connection, having an internet radio station doesn't help when I'm driving or out without my computer. Until there is a constant stream of Wifi internet for everyone to take advantage of, Radio will still dominate as a great source for music, news, and entertainment. However, with the construction of Ipods and an eventual movement to actually spread free wifi around the country, Radio may turn into nothing more than a free-range medium in which oldschool operators run their own talk radio shows, play honky-tonk music and make fun of one another. Radio needs an upgrade, but with HD and satellite radio I don't see there being a big problem.

Books, in my opinion, will not have a problem, but newspapers and magazines just may. I probably have about 1000 books on my computer, but I can't ever seem to finish them or get into them as well as I can with a hard copy. I just can't stare intenly at a monitor as long as I can a hard copy of a book, aside from the fact that if I read something once and I like it, I'm very likely to read it again and again. It's never bad to have a hard copy or two of your favorite novel. News clippings, twitters, and RSS feeds will probably in the near future abolish newspapers and magazines all together. What use do I have buying a daily, monthly, or weekly media that has less information available than I can find on the internet for free? Perhaps e-zines and e-papers will become a big hit; this would not be so bad for the newspaper and magazine companies afterall. Ads can still be bought and placed around the e-zine/paper and costs will fall greatly due to the loss of required paper, ink, and printing machinery. Recently there have been developments of a mechanical pad that displays books in a classic format; i personally don't like them whatsoever. I do, however, like the prospect of electronic paper, or e-paper. E-paper is, from wikipedia.com, "a display technology designed to mimic the appearance of ordinary ink on paper. Unlike a conventional flat panel display, which uses a backlight to illuminate its pixels, electronic paper reflects light like ordinary paper and is capable of holding text and images indefinitely without drawing electricity, while allowing the image to be changed later." With one piece of e-paper I could download 100 newspapers and display them at will; not only will this cut back on pollution but it will also cut back on the cost of making a paper all together. This will open the market for many more reporters, columnists, and writers to get their media out to the public and become well known. The future world will most likely be more about acquiantances, personal expression, and an individual's reputation and recognition than money power, or resources. Old media will not die as long as it agrees to adapt to the incomming virtual world.

online media downloading

2009-03-15T20:35:00.001-07:00

the little bit of research that i have just done reveals to me that i have been on the internet since 1993. my dad's girlfriend at the time had AOL as well as one of my friends and i used to love checking out chat rooms and basically running amuck. man that makes me feel kinda like a geezer! i begged my mom to purchase me a computer and AOL 3.0 back in 97' and since then i have been connected basically every day to present time. in 1999 a program called "napster" was released to the public; i found out about it from my gifted teacher. before napster music/software/pictures were downloaded from newsgroups, emails, or certain sites that would carry .wav/.mp3 files or simple midi versions of popular music. i dabbled in this until i found out about napster, and thank god! on a 28.8 modem it took hours to download one song, but it was so worth it! in 1997 i was 11 years old?! good GOD! i had no money back then, and since it was hard to convince myself to ask my mom to get me something as trivial as a cd i decided to find other ways to obtain my music and applications.

napster was an amazing application. while it only lasted for 2 years its impact is really eternal. napster was the first p2p program, as well as the first program to ever be attacked and shut down by the government. on the last night that napster was live i remember staying up all night long downloading george carlin and weird al mp3s saddened that my downloading days were over for good! luckily the guy who set up napster was no moron. while he shut down the regular client he left up his servers ad created an app called "napigator" which connected to his servers and still allowed users to access his p2p networks.

since napster's fall there have been many different programs that i have used to attain my digital-warez. kazaa, morpheus, sharebear, limewire, so on and so fourth. i remember the first anime series that i ever watched, neon genesis evangelion, was downloaded from kazaa. i would only be able to download 1 episode per day on my 56k, but after a month of patiently waiting i had finally seen the whole series! totally worth it! mind you, this was FAR before the days of cable internet or the joys of youtube. the new age of digital downloading completely makes programs such as these obsolete. while you cannot use these programs on campus [due to the university fearing being sued] torrent programs bring p2p to a whole new level. where before you would be downloading from one peer, bit torrent allows you to download from 1000s of peers at the same time while also sharing with newcomers. bit torrent accelerated the speed at which you could obtain files as well as the file sizes and types available. it's basically amazing. not to mention sites such as rapidshare, mediafire, and megaupload which carry everything from music to applications to full movie downloads available online for anyone to take advantage of. there are also many streaming websites online where anyone can watch episodes of their favorite tv shows, listen to their favorite bands, and even watch feature length movies in the comfort of wherever their laptops can take them.

if all the files are available anyway, what's the harm in keeping a permanent copy for yourself? i don't distribute files, and if i ever did i would not sell them for profit. i believe that media should be fully available to anyone willing to spend the time enjoying it, and i think that more recording artists and film makers should feel this way. then again, i do not believe that most artists have a problem with people downloading their products. i think most of the controversy comes from the media conglomerate corporations who are losing money. the recording industry has been taking advantage of musicians since it's creation, but here in modern times with nothing more than a 50 dollar microphone and a macintosh a band can put together a studio quality cd. there's no recording industry, no middle man, nothing. just the musicians, their music, and the world at large. if big daddy kane has a problem with me listening to and enjoying his music he can come to my house and say it to my face. until then i'm going to keep downloading.

the internet was developed for file sharing and personal expression, bottom line. if a band did not want digital copies of it's product being distributed online they would find a way to make it possible [though the hackers would find a way around it...they're so wily!]. i am a recording artist myself, but i don't make music for the money. in my opinion recognition is more important than cash. if you are recognized and popular eventually the money will come. it only takes time.

FOR EXAMPLE; the band hellogoodbye started as nothing more than posters on myspace's band page. before long their following was so great that they had to produce a cd. they were getting playtime on radio stations across the US with no publicity, no hype, just one little page and free distribution of their music. if a band is good enough they will be recognized, become famous, and go on tour making far more money than they would simply from record sales. even bands such as radiohead release full cds online for their listeners. this was started in the 90s by the group weezer who released their album for free online despite all warnings from their record label. to my knowledge they actually were dropped from their record label due to this.

the best example i can find of what a true artist thinks of the downloading revolution can be found in this youtube link weird al yankovic - don't download this song

as a finishing note, i do not think that downloading a file is theft. the information is placed online to be available to anyone and everyone. the true theft lies in the corporations and industries that attempt to take our money for the small joy that they give us. recording artists do not suffer, it is only the corporations and industries. if the artists were suffering, we'd never hear about it [because their album would never be produced]. ethically stealing may be wrong, but look into the mirror and tell me you don't feel like you're getting robbed every time you buy a cd with 2 good songs or pay to download an album. i support artists that i care about by buying their products and seeing their shows. in truth i do not support all the artists that i have mp3s of; heck, most of the bands i listen to are not even making music anymore. you say i'm stealing, i say i'm using the internet for what it was meant to be.

good day

Housekeeping : A Review

2009-03-15T20:32:00.001-07:00

I enjoyed this film thoroughly. I can't say that I completely saw the ending coming, but I did factor in the death of Sylvie and Ruthie in response to the first half of the movie. I believe that this film/book was entitled "Housekeeping" for multiple reasons. To someone such as the church ladies or Lucille, housekeeping was an activity including cooking, cleaning, and generally keeping the house tidy and orderly. To Ruthie and Sylvie, however, housekeeping takes on a whole new meaning. Housekeeping to the later characters is more of a proactive activity; the house in itself is not truly important, it is the family and people that live within the house and their happiness and well-being that truly matter. While Lucille and society may have viewed Sylvie and Ruthie as out-of-the-box and eccentric, both were happy in their own respects with the lives they were living. To Ruthie and Sylvie life was not about the perception of others looking in, but the feelings of those involved in the household.

Personally I don't believe that Lucille understood the type of personalities present within Sylvie or Ruthie. Sylvie and Ruthie, while inwardly saddened due to the turmoils and obstacles placed in their paths during their lives, were inwardly very happy people who admired not only the beauty of the world around them but the world in it's bare essence; the way it was meant to be admired. Society tends to "plasticify" life, boxing it up in pretty packaging with a nice pink bow. This plastic lifestyle suits many people, as this lifestyle is seemingly perfect. All negativity and ruthlessness is quickly taken care of and doused out never to be looked at again. Sylvie and Ruthie have both experienced life's great downfalls. Rather than looking away from these downfalls and living in a state of falsified emotion, Sylvie and Ruthie embrace the imperfection of reality and choose to admire it. Lucille wants nothing more than a "normal" lifestyle, but observed objectively what is truly so "normal" about society? I would say that it is more normal to live and experience life in raw essence rather than through a frilly, glowing tinge of ignorance and falsified bliss. Lucille will turn out like her mother, living a normal life until eventually she can no longer take the grind of faking smiles and pretending that she is happy. Her life ends in inevitable suicide resting next to the fallen at the bottom of Fingerbone Lake.

The concept that this movie/book is told from the perspective of a ghost really made a lot of sense to me. I was actually expecting to see a train ride toward the screen across the tracks before the credit roll, but I suppose that takes away from the "what if?" factor of the story. I also would have to agree that Sylvie and Ruthie never made it across that bridge; then again perhaps they never meant to. Sylvie and Ruthie were free from the moment they set their home ablaze and ran off into the woods. Society came into their blissful lives and told them that their happiness was irresponsible and illogical. When backed into a corner an animal will bite; what other choice did this brilliant pair have than to run and embrace the freedom they so greatly desired? Had Sylvie and Ruthie survived their lives would have been adventurous and amazing, filled with excitement and adventure at every turn. The death of these characters could also be viewed as symbolism that they had not died in the flesh, but simply had died in the eyes of society. Perhaps Sylvie and Ruthie finally found the children in the woods, their search for the joy lying behind each dark corner finally ceased.

whatever

2009-03-13T09:09:00.001-07:00

bitching time

what the hell is wrong with life?
by life i mean life in this society?
i'm 22 years old, nearing 23
i do nothing but work and go to school
in fact i work more than i go to school
my school is actually suffering due to my need to work
now my parents of course tell me that i don't have to work, but what do they know really?
am i expected to graduate from college and move back in with them? I'll be 26 years old!
i love college, i really do, but how the hell am i supposed to be able to concentrate enough to be able to study and do well in my classes when i am stressed out by work during every break, shifts stretching deep into the night, and a growing fear of the destruction of the economy/world?
it doesn't really make sense to me that i can want to learn so much and yet even my dedication is not enough do to my physical need for money.
i know i know, i should be able to live without it. that's bullshit. there's nothing in life that you can do without money. if i want to get something to eat when they cafeteria's closed; money. if i want to get some water because the water in my dorm is disgusting and pasty; money. if i want to go get a fucking beer and chill out for the 15 minutes i can spare for "RELAXATION"; money. in fact, everything that ever happens links back to money.
am i supposed to rely on my parents and allow them to tell me what i should be doing with my life? is it wrong for me to want to get out of this place, move somewhere far away and just LIVE for once?
i love school, i love learning, i love writing and reading and making music. i love drawing and browsing the net, watching stupid movies and tv shows, and yet i don't even have time to take a good shit anymore! it's work school study sleep [not enough] school study work sleep [barely caught up] miss class work study sleep, do poorly on test, etc etc etc
what the FUCK is going on?
i'm not an idiot. i know without the stresses of reality i would be able to do just fine here at school and get my degree. that is, perhaps. next semester my mom is supposed to be attempting to pull my funding from my grandfather away from me so that she can use the money for whatever goddamn thing she needs in life [like boob/teeth jobs or workout equipment she'll never use]. so basically i am either going to have to ask my dad for money or take out a student loan that i will never in a million years be able to afford to pay off.
how is this fair?
when did i ask to get screwed over so hard? did i agree to this? did i miss the meeting? i don't believe anyone has my signature, blood sample, urinalysis.
maybe work wouldn't be so bad if everyone that was there wasn't an IDIOT. maybe if work would understand that i am in school and schedule me accordingly rather than setting me on a strict schedule which cannot be changed even when i'll never know when i need to study or when i'll be free.
where are the jobs for college students? campus jobs are closed; the only thing left in life are all the fast food joints around here and the fucking walmart. i've been working since i was 16 years old, there is nothing in the world that qualifies me to be flipping toast and dropping chicken at fucking raising canes AT ALL EVER IN EXISTENCE EVER!

maybe i'm a bitch, crying and whining. maybe i'm making a valid point that needs to be made so that something will be done about it.
but why would anyone care anyway? fuck me, right, i'm just the future of the world. no big. if i die millions will replace me, i'm nothing but a number in a database of lost causes.

fuck society.

hamlet 2

2009-01-02T01:01:00.000-08:00

ok, so after my last post i downloaded tomato torrent, which luckily allows me to download torrents again. THANKS INTERNET!

of course i immediately began downloading torrents, the first being "Hamlet 2". i just finished watching it, so i suppose there's no better time to do a review!

the movie starts out slow as the character dana marchesh [i don't know how to spell it...it's Marsh-s-sh...], the tucson highschool drama coach, goes through a series of emotional breakdowns. his class, normally filled to capacity with 2 students is now over-run with a few more students than he can handle. dana is a fairly poor drama instructor normally doing remakes of pitiful movies from the 70s and 80s. with some inspiration from his students and a bit of creative labor, dana writes the play hamlet 2 in which hamlet uses a time machine to travel back in time and save everyone who died in hamlet 1.

as the play gets moving dana's personal life begins to fall apart. his wife leaves him after telling him she is pregnant [not his child], the schoolboard locks him out of the school, the drama program is cancelled, and his bills are paid. aside from these aspects, the religious groups as well as the parents of the students begin to express much disinterest in the play and do not want to allow their children to perform.

through all his trials dana and the kids pull off the play. by the time you finally get to see the play you're so curious that you really pay attention to the details; i would actually pay good money to see this play live.

while this movie takes a while to get moving, the payoff is completely worth it. i would give this movie a 4/5 and highly suggest it to anyone with a love for film and theater.

um, fuck no

2008-12-28T02:07:00.000-08:00

ok so i just did some research on a 503 error in my bit torrent client. apparently the error is due to a blockage from the actual web client itself. while i was at school i understand that the web is slightly blocked anyway, but here at my dad's house? this is total fucking bullshit.

how the fuck am i supposed to pirate movies?

how am i supposed to download cds?

what the hell am i supposed to do while sitting on this computer without falling back into old habits and going to 4chan to complain about how awful it is?

fuck the RIAA, fuck Cox, and also, fuck you.

[i didn't mean it, i'm sorry]

zack and miri make an awesome movie

2008-11-12T23:50:00.000-08:00

all hail kevin smith!

once again the master has returned to deliver an amazing movie. what can i really say, kevin smith is an amazing writer. i laughed, i chortled, i even had a jolly old hoot, not to mention that tears were almost brought my eyes [i'm a cancer, so yeah, get used to that].

basically the plot involves two best friends, zack and miri, who live together in a dinky little apartment. zack works at a coffee shop, miri, well who knows what she does. on the night of their class reunion zack and miri lose not only their water but also their electricity and heat. with no money left to pay the bills they head over to the local bar to discuss what they are going to do to at least keep a roof over their heads. in jest miri brings up selling her body for money. zack comes up with the brilliant idea to make a porno. how can this plot go wrong, honestly?

the answer: it can't

zack and miri buy out a small storage shed and begin to shoot a star wars remake called "STAR WHORES", but due to some insane circumstances they lose everything after the first day of production. zack decides in a rage that the show must go on and that it will continue in his employers coffee shop.

honestly, the cast was wonderful. seth rogan is a beast, always, and this movie really brings out his more sensitive side. as with most kevin smith movies there is a love tension throughout the film between miri and zack. there are some very touching scenes accompanied by amazing acting that will have you saying, "Aw man, i must have gotten *sniffle* something in my eyes, babe."

don't miss this film while it's out, or better yet, go ahead and miss it. i'm sure that the dvd will have tons of bonus features anyway.

also, stay tuned after the credits; there's a tiny bit of bonus material that sums the movie up and provides a few final laughs.

thanks, kevin. i can't wait for your next film! [ps: cast me as carlin, man. i can DO THIS! carlin's my dad and he didn't even know it!]

isaac asimov tastes like strawberries

2008-10-04T00:00:00.000-07:00

as i stated in my last post, i had to write a paper today in english. i am pretty sure that it went well, and i'll attempt to post it if i ever get it back.

after class i went and hung out with rachel for a while. i failed to drink coffee before it got cold twice, and basically felt like a steaming pile of waste product for the majority of the day. we went to eat some dinner, which was soon followed by steph bringing home a stuffed crust pizza from pizza hut [and of course, i also ate stuffed crust. how could i say no?]. after a few hours we decided to get out and do something, and though i was still feeling mostly shitty, i agreed.

we hit up the daqauri shop around 7:30 and headed towards pinnochio's, the land of sppedhacked pacman and lazerTAG. upon our arrival we bought a game of lazertag and went upstairs to play a few games. i failed horribly at pacman, which doesn't really suprise me that much. i've been an avid ms. pacman player for a while now, and i haven't really played the original much since i was like 4 or 5.

[on a side note, i really would love to attempt to buy out that machine from this place. i know no one plays it, and come on, it's friggin tabletop speedhack pacman. how can i resist that?]

lazertag was just about as much fun as i remember it being [uh A LOT!]. we were given 3 games for the price of one and all of us enjoyed every second of it.

pinnochio's closed after our last game and we decided to head home. steph and rachel, still in an uppity mood, decided to head to a bar. i, on the other hand, parted ways with them and headed to my good buddy johnny's house to play some magic. overall this part of the night was fairly boring; johnny plays with a white/blue deck, i play with a red/blue deck, which i modified today making it a slight bit more beasty, and marc played with, well, every gay deck you could imagine in history. i guess the best part of the night was seeing a classic line-up on adult swim including sealab, SGC2C, and mission hill [even though mission hill isn't technically "classic", i needed a third show to make my comma's useful].

i left on a high note, winning the final game by 2 life, and headed back to my dorm.

rachel is passed out and dead to the world or i would be snuggling her at this point rather than writing this post, so i guess the 0 people who read this are pretty damn lucky that she's sleeping!

ahh, awesome.

talk to you tomorrow, internet!

arooooooooo

2008-10-03T08:11:00.001-07:00

what's up doggies?

i woke up this morning around 6:30 only to get back into bed until around 7:15. after brewing a steaming pot of coffee i finished up my studying for geology and went to take my test. i'm guessing that i maybe missed 3 or 4 questions, but hey, you can't be perfect all the time. *smile...teeth shine and whatnot*

as you may not know [because i have never told you] i am a huge fan of MST3K [mystery science theater 3000]. in case you had no childhood/teenmanship/adultingness and have no idea what MST3K is, allow me to enlighten you.

from the late 80's until 2004, mystery science theater was aired, first on comedy central and later on scifi CHANNEL [which happens to be the best channel on tv (other than adultswim, which is not a channel at all) HURUMPH]. basically an evil scientist [dr. forrester] took 2 of his workers [joel and mike] and sent them up the the satellite of love [with joel the satellite orbited earth, mike attained manual control of the satellite and was chased through space by dr. forrester's mother, pearl, after she reverted dr. forrester back into a baby] to show them the cheesiest, most awful sci-fi/fantasy movies of all time. joel initially had the ability to choose when he would watch the movies, but he disassembled the parts necessary for this to produce his robot pals crow, tom servo, cambot, and GYPSY. [mike inherited these robots eventually].

ANYWAY, what these characters do throughout the series is RIFF on these movies to help them keep their sanity. in case you were wondering, riffing is intentionally making fun of a movie to make a seemingly horrible film bearable and amazingly hilarious.

i was recently contacted by a group called the INCOGNITO CINEMA WARRIORS [xp] about a show they have crafted in a similar fashion. for any fans of mst3k who are missing the show desperately, this series may become your new vice. i shall provide a link to their myspace page so that you can check it out in your free time; it might be a total waste of that free time, but hey, it's FREE TIME, why do you care?

i have to go prepare for an in class paper for my english 101 class [i'll be arguing that isaac asimov's theory of "EUREKA" is relevant to those who construct their lives around scientific reasoning], but i will leave you with a small sample of ICWxp.

ICWXP: Voicemail Webisode Vol. 1

have a nice day, try not to kill your family.

free rides for old people

2008-10-02T22:11:00.001-07:00

the last few days have been fairly interesting; i found out i love racquetball, played speedhacked pacman, went to a party, attended class, and got a ticket due to the ignorance of the parking committee.

let's take a step back and delve into the details, shall we?

FRIDAY

friday started as every day does; CLASS

geology

NO UNIVERSITY PREP!

break

english

DONE!

after class devin and i decided that we would finally head over to the racquetball courts and get our game on [we had been attempting to do this for a few weeks]. we used google to find the rules and began playing this game, which turns out to be way too much fun to actually be legal. after about an hour and a half devin gave up, leaving me and my sore right arm to continue to volley/practice for later play.

i recieved a call not too long after finishing with racquetball from rachel [my main squeeze] and her friend stephanie. we decided that we would, in tandem, achieve the goal of dinner. to procure such a lustrous goal we decided that there was no better place than the local sushi shack, samurai dragon. after inhaling a few puffs of cannibus smoke we were off towards our destination. after what seemed like hours, we finally made it to the restaurant.

samurai dragon is a fairly delicious place, though the service is most often quite piss-poor. i would say this knowingly because i myself was and am a waiter, so this kind of thing is just kinda embedded within my soul.

we had miso soup [i wish i would have gotten hot and spicy instead...], sushi, and fried rice. all together there was simply just too much food, and even to our bloodshot eyes there seemed to be a stopping point. after 30 minutes of potentially walking out without paying our waitress returned with our ticket. we left, proud and wobbling; full of sushi.

we returned to the car and decided to smoke a cigarette outside. this single action lead to quite an interesting turn of events. because we were already in downtown houma we decided to walk around for a bit and check out what was going on. we walked about 2 blocks down the road before hearing some very loud music. as we rounded the last bar to our right there was a huge conglomeration of people and a stage; the sounds of honkeytonk echoed through the crowded streets, careening off of abandoned buildings in the foreground. we stood there in awe for 15 or 20 minutes, but due to general paranoia of what and why this festival was occurring we decided to take our leave. further down the road was a small car and bike show. we spent a good 10 or 15 minutes gawking in awe at the sexy machines placed before us before deciding that all of this was just too strange. we made out way back to our vehicle and headed back towards thibodaux.

our nightly journey, however, had not yet ended. we passed an establishment called "PINNOCHIO'S". steph, with her keen eyes, noticed that this place actually has a lasertag arena. with rachel's confirmation that this place was amazing we turned around and headed back.

as we entered the door, the walls painted with bright neon colors, i felt that we were not meant to actually be there. this was a ghetto-ish arcade/indoor playground for children. i felt slightly out of place, but with rachel and steph there i didn't feel so bad.

it was probably pretty close to closing time when we made it to the laser tag area. there was no one at the desk, and all of our hearts sank slightly, "we closed down early today because no one came to play," said the small, pimply boy who finally came to help us. we were down, but not defeated, and decided instead to go upstairs to entertain ourselves in the arcade area.

steph and i played a few very intense games of air hockey, which was way more fun that i had imagined it would be, while rachel took out her aggressions on the mouth/teeth of a seemingly innocent clown. i also discovered that there was a speedhacked ORIGINAL tabletop pac man machine, which is basically the greatest find ever in an arcade. i woud probably do some ridiculous things to have that tabletop in my dorm [but i'm not doing anything involving a penis...sorry].

as the arcade was closing up we headed back toward our dorms. rachel and steph went back to their dorm, deciding to get ready and go out to one of the local bars. i, however, had other plans. i collected my magic cards and chugged a cup of coffee before proceeding towards the abode of christian and paul. christian is a former co-worker from the olive garden who i just happened to become friends with, and paul is her awesome husband.

when i arrived my buddies marc and johnny were already there. from 10pm to around 2 in the morning we played magic and shot airsoft guns, which was a lot more fun than it sounds like it was. after missing my car on the way out of paul and christian's, i headed home, and friday was finally over.

SATURDAY

saturday started off very relaxing. rachel and i went to get breakfast in the cafeteria around 11:30am. after getting breakfast we kinda just sat around and enjoyed each other's company. she left at around 1 to go do laundry with steph, and marc came over to visit me in my dorm. i helped him do a bit of english homework and proceeded to play a few games of magic. around 5pm marc left. i received a call from rachel that she was heading to a party in bayou gauche and that i was invited. ALLL RIGHHTTT!

we [steph, rachel, myself] headed out to bayou gauche around 7o'clock, arriving somewhere near 8. this particular party was a suprise party for a girl named britany who i had met previously. of course i didn't realize this until she came into the house [i actually thought i was just at a party for some random person i had never met. awesome, right?]

we hung out, drank some beers, and played a game of FLIP CUP, which my team totally dominated. around 11:30 we decided it was time to head out, and left the party.

on the way back to thibodaux [i was driving] we stopped at a BK and picked up a few burgers. while i'm sure this is all relevant information and you really care about all of this, i'll go ahead and finalize by saying that we made it home and all was well.

SUNDAY

NOW [because i am getting bored writing this] WE ARE GOING TO DO A FLASH VERSION OF SUNDAY'S EVENTS!

ARE YOU READY?!

GET SET...

GO!

-woke up at 11 with rachel; ate breakfast [marc showed up]

...
on second thought, forget this...

i've been studying since wednesday, and it's already friday again.

tomorrow i take a geology test and write an in-class paper; today i took a biology test and studied forever

pray for me, dear god.

until i talk to you again,
peace

[i love youuuuu!<333] -rachel

hmm

2008-09-25T12:49:00.001-07:00

you know i have had this blog for what seems like forever; i suppose i made this thing around the year 2005, somewhere in the autumn. i do, however, also notice that i have not actually written too many "BLOG POSTS". most of my posts are nothing but random ramblings of my wonderful, drug-filled past, or poems which have no general meaning or even any real flow what-so-ever.

i ask myself, "WHAT do i post on a blog that will attract others?", "HOW do i appeal to an audience?", "WHEN will i finally become famous and have a meaning behind all of this rambling nonsense?"

of course, i don't really have answers for any of these questions, which is why, i suppose, i am actually writing this blog. browsing and cavorting my way through the internet, i have discovered that most blogs are centralized around one person's life; they are the main character of their blog, the unfolding visage of the reality of their existence. can i actually write something such as this? it seems to me, from my perspective anyway, that i actually have nothing more to write about than a rock or a pile of brambles blowing slightly in the wind; but i digress. i must have SOMETHING to write about. it's not like the entirety of my life is sitting in place, staring at a blank wall while secreting fluids from my gaping mouth [ehh..]. no, i have PURPOSE! i have MEANING! my life is exclusively AMAZING! i have CHARM and GRACE and STYLE! people have been DYING for this blog to become what it is currently evolving into! i am FINALLY fulfilling my destiny!!!

oh come on, positive thinking never hurt anyone, right?

the declining mind

2008-09-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

this was written for my english 101 [composition] course. the topic, generally, was "education". there was no truly set topic, so really it could be about anything ranging from your own educational experiences to a discussion or argument involving the essays we have been reading for the past month. the topic that i chose to write about is the declining level of education in this country. i hope that you enjoy it.

The Declining Mind

Education is one of the most important elements of a modern day society. Through education, children and adults alike learn to think, question, and grow mentally. Over the past 20 years the United States has slipped in it's international ranking in education. Once holding the title of an above average country, the US has degraded into the category of below average in Math scores on an international level. These scores, formulated by the 2007 Organization for Economic Co-Operation and Development's PISA survey, measure a student's ability to apply mathematics to real life situations rather than simply applying formulas on paper. The reasoning behind this steep decline in the quality and effectiveness of education is due to rigid curriculum based on regurgitation of information rather than learning as well as a growing concentration on standardized testing rather than actual mental growth and stimulation.

The future of education should become more interactive, breaking boundaries rather than enclosing itself within a gated ideal. The opposite, however, seems to be occurring across the nation. Rather than being bettered and encouraged to think, grow, and learn, students are impeded and harmed through the institutionalization of our education system. One of the elements that impede education is the general idea that each and every person is an equal, intelligent individual who values their education and can be taught in one general way. This is nothing more than a fallacy created on hopes that the general population will follow suite. Throughout human history there has been a gap between the exceptionally intelligent and the normal, every day individual. An average individual experiences life as a sequence of events, all separated and unconnected. These individuals learn through repetition and memorization of facts. Rather than exploring and learning a concept, these individuals solidify what they learn through the accuracy of their professors and view all things learned as true. Schooling for these individuals is utilized as a stepping-stone towards acceptance into college, which in itself is only a stepping-stone into their place in the everyday work world. These students see school as a system of grades rather than a learning environment for application in reality. An exceptionally intelligent person, however, sees life as more of an evolving picture; each concept leading ever closer to a greater interconnected wonder. These individuals are analytical and enjoy exploring, understanding, and elaborating concepts. Rather than taking the information they are given and using it simply to pass exams, these students question the authority of their professors. Yearning to learn relevant, life applicable concepts, these individuals do not wish to simply memorize and regurgitate information. An exceptionally intelligent individual experiences education as a learning process to better him or herself. These individuals, simply through their existence, require a more interactive, exploratory learning environment than the average grade-seeking student.

This country has chosen repetition and memorization over learning and growing in its educational system. Rather than understanding a concept, a student is given a set list of terms, told to memorize these terms, and is then able to pass his or her exam. This has been done to allow every single individual to become educated, pass on to the next level of education, and give all people an equal opportunity to succeed. The general curriculum, which has been adapted into schools nationwide, is based strictly on the passage of standardized testing which students are forced to take throughout their educational careers. Students are not schooled so that they may be learned and become more well-rounded and educated individuals, but rather that the institution in which they have been placed can prove it's own worth, thus attaining more funds and higher pay checks for faculty and staff. Lowering the curriculum and placing the general acceptable point somewhere near the lower middle leave exceptionally intelligent students without a challenge. Since anyone can do well, as anyone can memorize through repetition, those who do not learn conceptually are at as much of an advantage as the more intelligent students. This memorization cripples an intelligent person, as they are never tested or pushed to look at concepts through different facets, and actually punishes them for learning an entire concept rather than it's individual parts. The more intelligent of the students are also punished by being forced to learn at the same speed and format as normal students; where a normal student may take notes and enjoy lectures, a generally intelligent individual seeks interactive, demonstrative learning, as well as the ability to explore new and uncharted concepts of science, mathematics, or whatever may be their main focus. Rather than being applauded for his or her knowledge, the exceptionally intelligent student is put down, not only by his peers but also by the faculty and staff of his institution. This lack of stimulation in the exceptionally intelligent student causes boredom, which is followed by a falling behind in studies. In some cases these students actually do poorly in school, failing to meet the requirements of the system. This impairs the student's ability to pursue larger goals, better schools, and higher education. These students often seek other means of gaining knowledge and are pushed even further from the pursuit of a degree or any other educational venue. As time goes on a larger majority of our research scientists and great minds will become nothing more than restaurant or theater attendants, struggling to exist in a world that was not designed for their above-average intelligence.

For the United States to rebuild as an educational superpower in the world once again its entire concept of education must be rehashed and reshaped. Firstly, a system must be formulated to recognize exceptionally intelligent individuals above normal students. Each individual is exceptional, and through a process of this kind each individual’s preferred learning style could be found, placing students in an environment that is stimulating to their mind's growth. Secondly, enhanced learning facilities and curriculums for those who wish to pursue them must be developed. A student sitting through 4 years of high school who learns nothing is a student who is not in the correct place. Developed curriculums must be terminated and replaced by an open curriculum, which concentrates on each individual’s skill rather than that of the general population. Thirdly, testing must veer away from the current, stagnating position it holds. Rather than multiple choice or true/false questionnaires, testing should be done in a live, written or spoken forum. A process of this kind will encourage a student to learn and understand a concept rather than simply memorizing the correct answers. Testing should also be less based off of a rigid grading system and more on an individual student's understanding of the concept at hand. Every concept is only a concept, and thusly there is no “right” or “wrong” answer. A student whose answer is wrong according to theory who can logically justify why his or her particular answer seems correct has as much of a right to state his or her opinion as any research scientist. Each student should be allowed the opportunity to present his or her interpretation of the subject matter and discuss it with peers and professors to come to a better, more complete understanding. Lastly, each and every student should be encouraged to do well in school and learn for themselves, not for the crooked agenda of schools and their officials. School should be a place where students can grow mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially, not a place that is dreaded, feared and hated. The freedom and enjoyment of each student through his or her academic life is as important as the material being taught. Each student deserves to feel intelligent, open-minded,

Education trains the youth, betters the minds of individuals, and accelerates the human race into places that only exist in dreams. In this modern information age, past mistakes must be brought forward to ensure the bettering of society. The first step to fixing these problems is acknowledgement and formulation of new ideas and concepts to upgrade quality of education for the future. Ignoring problems only leads to unwanted results and a further degradation of educational, social, and mental institutes. Improvement to the present ensures a safe and enlightening future for posterity. The actions taken now will be forever embedded into the sands of time.

light

2008-02-27T12:41:00.000-08:00

light seeps through to the darkest of chambers
finally feeling the sun's warm embrace
he looks to the fascinating stained glass window
through his soul he gazes upon the array
and colors dance a radiant tone
his mind returning to elation
knowing now that it was worth it
screaming nights and contemplations
creeping onward now and still
he sees his chamber through the eyes
of one who can see past the veils
of abnormality in spacetime
for now his vision, fully active
sees these walls which he once reigned
the colors dance with higher radiance
moving through his worldly plane
close your eyes, follow your heart, there's nothing left to hide
the cobwebs clear, now finally, you've nothing left to hide

he takes his leave of the cathedral, exploring now many a room
he comes upon his courage and the truth that helped him conquer doom
and feeling greater highs than he had ever felt before
he hears choruses of angels singing just beyond this frigid door
a squeaking crackling ceases as he opens it a bit
he sees his true potential and is overwhelmed by it
his crash is felt, and yet the grand choir never stops singing
through the seemingly infinte halls the voices' echoes just keep ringing
and he once again stands tall to face the day with greater stride
he knows that he can leave this place with utmost joy and pride
for he is the humble magnificent, the joy of laughter and pain
the feeling that for one moment things could be right again
and that the world and all it's troubles would cease to exist
"i have awakened, finally" he says with tightened fist
"and nothing now can stop me for the things that i have seen
have finalized their lessons in my very deepest dreams.
for fear, i've come to realize, is nothing more than you
hiding yourself away from all the problems you come to.
yet instead of hiding furthermore, i vow to never falter
for i know that i can succeed, i know that i'm stronger
than the challenges that face me, so i pass them off with ease!"
as the door opens his eyes become fixated on the leaves
spiraling down from the tops of greatest heights of spruce and oak and pine
entrapping in his greatest memories for an eternal time
for light had never been this bright from within his dark chambers
now that he has taken forward strides, things will only change
for the better.

i'm lonely [new song]

2008-02-16T00:20:00.001-08:00

it's been years since i have felt true love
been years since i have been embraced
it's been years since i have woken up
to see another's lovely face
it's been years since someone told me they loved me
and i choked on my reply

i'm so lonely
and i kinda want to die

it's been years since i kissed a fair set of lips
that showed love and compassion back
it's been years since i knew what love was
it's been years since i hit the sack
[with a smile]
it's been years since i didn't have to get so stoned
that i didn't know my name

i'm so lonely
and i think i'm going insane

i try to put myself out there
try to show you who i am
but all i ever do is hear stories about
this or that other man
[or chick]
and i know that i am stronger than this
but unfortunately it's true
i feel like nothing in my life could ever truly be right
unless i am with you

[WHO?]

i'm so lonely
i can taste it on my tongue
no one wants me
and i feel like my life is done
and all those who say that they care about me
only care about me this much

i'm so lonely
and everything sucks

i'm so lonely
and i'm missing you so much
[whoever you are]

i'm so lonely
now give me 20 bucks

yeahhhhhhhhh

friends

2008-02-10T14:40:00.001-08:00

it's hard to leave your friends.

sometimes you leave, sometimes they do.

but either way it is hard to lose a friend; i person with whom you've entrusted with your deepest secrets and thoughts.

i'm moving out of this apartment tommorow; i will not be living with the two people who i have gotten closest to over this period of time any longer. i'm going to be jumping into a world that's going to consume me, and i may never see them the same way again.

i miss them already and i have yet to leave.

i have not cried in a long time, but yesterday i cried. i cried because i feel that i am losing my friends. i am losing my happiness. i am going into a world to proceed with a process that i know i must, but i don't want to. i want to stay here, happy and joyous with my friends; playing games, laughing and joking about nothing; hell, even just sitting there watching tv. i'm going to be alone. and while i have two people who care about me to go to, it just won't be the same.

i miss the simplicity, the bliss of childhood. i don't want to let go of the last strings attaching me to it. the problem enlies in the fact that i know i must.

i want to fall down and cry; i want to take my emotions and let them run wild; this is not the way for a civilized male to act. he must collect himself.

i say fuck that shit.

i will be alone with no one to sit there, no one to talk to, no one to laugh with.

my new room mates are as follows;

dad
ms. christa [step mom]
jacyln [step sister] 16 years
nathan [step brother] 12 years
dominique [brother] 17 months

i have been dreading this day for so long...i am afraid of everything and i shouldn't be. i need to get on with it; i need to finalize and move forward...i don't think i can do it.

time

2008-02-10T12:53:00.001-08:00

time has a beggining and an end. time, however, is simply a describable concept to explain movement through the fabric of spacetime. in reality, there is no such thing as time. time, like most things, is only relevant to the observer.

"time", therefore, would have no beggining and no end, technically. it would be one massive, unending circle. there may be a moment of creation or destruction, this is what we can equate. but what about moments before or after that?

between moments of existence and nonexistence is a period of selecting; option select, if you will. at the point of option select a conciousness has the ability to tweak or change his or her environment and send spacetime blistering into it's newly selected direction. therefore each decision that is made, each thought that is processed, and each action that is committed is burned and coded into spacetime forever; or at least until the end of spacetime.

but, once again, the "end" of spacetime would only be the beggining of something more dramatic; who knows if it would even be noticeable. In a moment of nonexistence when we do not exist, do we realize that we don't exist? and if we did, would we truly be unexistant?

twilight

2008-01-31T18:10:00.001-08:00

dawn rising; temperature, fahrenheit 45 degrees
the shroud of night has faded, bringing dawn to the world
dawn to day; light dispersion
heat rises and climaxes; 70, now downward
day to evening
spiraling darker into dim and dreary night
casting even the earliest shadows of the beast conceived throughout the land
slowly creeping into full effect, this mistress lies in waiting
the darkness rushes in through a massive wave of unstopping anguish
you tremble and sweat, your fear commanding you
unscoured
the moon is your seer
and through her eye you begin to picture your terrain
terra
flora
fauna
s
y
m
b
o
l
i
s
m
dripping down your spine
your eyes close
1000 whispers
twilight has fallen
speaking to yourself
who are you?
what are you?
when did you ever?

listen...

and the silence is wrought
with the sounds of your actions
destroying your truth; logic; strength
no one hears the rabid outcries of your vessel
the war ravages on inside of your mind
you are a being conflicted

through twilight, come, fly
find your way home
for tommorow's morning will be
just as it has always been
for night is an illusion
and the twilight it's game
existing exponentially beyond a face or a name

the world rotates through gravitation
one of many
absorbing light and bringing life into the cosmos through energy
for light is mother
night is brother
morning comes again
to shine upon your situation
your light will guide your lost eyes through the dark

double vision

escape control and convert
you androids are all alike.
twilight.

the corporate bathroom

2008-01-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

even if i don't make it there for the competition, i can wait. there will be more.

now that's sound thinking.
a truly great pokemon trainer always puts pokemon first, and that's what you're doing.

even if you could tell everyone the secrets of the universe, not everyone would have the capacity to understand it. in some, the knowledge of the truths of the universe could actually backfire and drive that person into an unsurpassable wall of insanity; to some it could mean nothing more than the color of a shirt.

YEAH AND I GOTTA FIND THOSE CROOKS QUICK CUZ THEY STOLE MY PIKACHU!

that's great, thanks professor.

coversation

2008-01-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

people are smart

5:37
they don't believe they are, btu they are

5:37
the don't listen to themselves, so they lose what is truly theirs

5:37
and they fall into stupor, believing only what they see

5:38
that is blindness

5:38
to see only with the eye

5:38
we all must look inside to find the true answers, for if we oculd ponder the question we could formulate the answer

5:38
we are manipulated to think and act in certain ways

5:39
and for the most part, since people have lost the connection with life's meaning, they are easily convinced to believe any bullshit some guy makes up

5:39
the only truth lies within yourself

5:39
and people don't live like that

5:40
they allow others to manipulate them

5:40
to decieve them

5:40
they can't see in, they only see what is presented to them

5:40
anything they can't see isn't real

5:40
though we dream

5:40
though we think

5:42
we're all unique, and through that uniqueness we are one. we as individuals are part of the same thing, and there is no difference between us. we only allow the perceived to distract us from the truths that we know to be true.

AIM
TheFrien9
5:43
so basically your saying we're tamed human being with beliefs created by a corrupted individual;

5:43
als

5:43
*

AIM
cONKER
5:43
not by an individual

5:43
by a group of indivisuals

5:43
individuals^

AIM
TheFrien9
5:43
lol

5:43
yeh i suppose so, but if we lived free... there would be the corruped majority

5:44
or minority

AIM
cONKER
5:44
a group of people working towards a one world government that exploits it's citizens

AIM
TheFrien9
5:44
still present

AIM
cONKER
5:44
doesn't matter

5:44
freedom is more than being free to do what you want

5:44
freedom is everyone agreeing to what is right or what is wrong

5:44
and everyone acting towards that right way with full belief in it

5:44
freedom is believing in yourself and doing what you feel is correct

5:44
freedom is happiness

AIM
TheFrien9
5:45
who is to choose what beleif is right?

AIM
cONKER
5:45
there is not one belief

5:45
each has his own

AIM
TheFrien9
5:45
ahh

AIM
cONKER
5:45
and through that belief, that drive that exists within that person, we are individual.

5:46
but as a race, as a species, and as inhabitants of this planet, solar system, universe...we are united

5:46
not only with each other but with everything

5:46
for we are all part of the same organism;

5:47
the world can be united through peace and true freedom can be attained

AIM
TheFrien9
5:47
yeh i think we are all part of one organism too

5:47
it makes since...

AIM
cONKER
5:47
and logically, we should work as one

5:47
to make life amazing for all

AIM
TheFrien9
5:47
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:47
we have that in our GRASPS

5:48
we could feed the world

5:48
if we would all work together

5:48
clothe everyone, feed, everyone, create living areas

5:48
we have the techknology to do all of that

AIM
TheFrien9
5:48
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:48
and yet there is greed leading the current spiral of events that is trying to snatch that away

AIM
TheFrien9
5:48
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:48
those who are rich and in power don't want to lose ther pwer

5:49
so they're trying to snatch that away from us

5:49
from us as a people

5:49
from the world

5:49
so that they can keep their power

5:49
and continue to exploit and control the world that they have create

5:49
d

5:50
it's up to us to stop this; it's our duty not only as citizens but as human beings. spreading the awareness and living your life as if every day was it's own.

AIM
TheFrien9
5:51
yup... its sad that people cant even eat everyday..

AIM
cONKER
5:51
you have to destroy yourself, and everything you know as true, you must decline. from a blank slate you can find what you believe to be true

AIM
TheFrien9
5:51
fricken sad.

AIM
cONKER
5:51
but true is everchanging, so you must continue to dwell and meditate

AIM
TheFrien9
5:51
yeh

5:51
money shouldnt be such a big issue

5:51
not at all

5:51
just resources

AIM
cONKER
5:51
exactly

AIM
TheFrien9
5:52
we need to distribute

5:52
with technology ... its not liek it woudl cost anything

AIM
cONKER
5:52
with our massive umber of resources, we could supply the world with eveyrthing it needs

AIM
TheFrien9
5:52
so many planes fly everywhere

AIM
cONKER
5:52
so many machines

AIM
TheFrien9
5:52
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:52
if machines took over jobs, people would not have to work

5:52
know what that spawns?

5:52
a REINASSANCE

AIM
TheFrien9
5:52
aye

5:52
see... the only problem would be technology

AIM
cONKER
5:52
know what happens if the govt wins?

5:52
DARK AGES

AIM
TheFrien9
5:53
that uses limited resources

5:53
then greed steps in

AIM
cONKER
5:53
well the thing about it is

5:53
if all the people of the world united as one

5:53
we would have a democracy that would span across the world

5:53
that would be controlled actively by all the people

5:53
all resorces would be combined

AIM
TheFrien9
5:53
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:53
so we could split resources correctly

5:53
stop production of crap

AIM
TheFrien9
5:54
eventually with scientists workign together

5:54
we wont need resources

5:54
for technology

AIM
cONKER
5:54
start producing helpful shit

5:54
dude

5:54
we have more scientists alive at this period in time than have EVER been alive through history

5:54
COMBINES

5:54
COMBINED^

AIM
TheFrien9
5:54
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:54
we are able, at this time, to change the world

5:54
CHANGE THE WORLD

5:54
but we have to fight for it

5:55
and it's not gonna be easy.

AIM
TheFrien9
5:55
no it wont...

5:55
we would first have to create some kind of business

5:55
then with the money we could swicth it over

5:56
and take our money we gained

5:56
and help

5:56
but it would have to be huge.

AIM
cONKER
5:56
thing about it is

5:56
think about it

5:56
we live in AMERICA

5:56
the people

5:56
the PEOPLE

5:56
control this country

5:56
not the government

5:56
recently we have become less

5:56
we have taken a lower seat to the leading body

5:57
and the leading body has become greedy

AIM
TheFrien9
5:57
yup

AIM
cONKER
5:57
and has corrupted

5:57
revolution

5:57
revolution

darts

2008-01-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

darting back and forward now
feeling nothing but the dismiss
trying to remember how
but fortune shines not on this mistress
doom despair and the following hazards
the drugs, heroin, and her lucid cadaver
have kept her from seeking the pleasures once hidden
in life and in torment and vivid experience
how can one demolish all they've brought to the table
reformat and rehash all things and know that they're able
to succeed in ways not noticed by the normal explorer
looking deeper has proven a dangerous foyer
none choose to travel or rely on as true
the secrets that you might never pull yourself through
and realizations that have made strong men cry
trapped yourself inside your head, and you don't remember why

cry yourself to sleep
there's no one here to listen
but you know that you can feel it in your heart
when the bottoms at your face
you can turn your head and face
towards the light illuminating the dark

straight outta falsehood blinded deeply by the current observations
pass out and wake up, the world's still here
you're trying to sort it out inside your very deepest contemplations
pass out, wake up, the world's still here

power up power down bouncing round from side to side
thought a good idea would rise, but you've crafted your own demise
feel the sweet embrace of forces unbeknownst to most
now you see your desperate future from the eyes of a ghost
boast a coasting dialogue that richochets off the sides
of all the lies that you've concocted to explain your situation
roast a host of other brothers as a sign of alpha nature
but it all falls to deaf ears now, the truth is there in paper
and the eyes of those who cannot be fooled by your simple trickery
are there staring you down, ripping and picking your sanity
and now you're lost inside your own domicile
and you cannot come back again to this place you knew as a child

it's gone

finished

say peace to the lovers
the homies, friends, and all of the brothers
your mom walks in only to discover
the trechery you've left behind
right there beneath your covers
and stuck are you behind the blinds
you thought not son, and now you'll find
your fate is sealed and listed here
with satan and his horde
this is not what was meant to be
you've given up all faith and hope

fate

believe

gifts

2007-09-28T05:46:00.001-07:00

tresseme veofyv heighrecutis

being gifted is a really strange thing. it's really made my life not only more interesting, but really quite more enjoyable. while it may have affected me in adverse ways in the past, i personally blame the turmoils of my parents and the intense emotions involved in having to reshape my life at the age of 10, teach my little brother the ropes and ways of life, and support my mother, who was doing nothing but falling apart. all of this while maintaining a 4.0 [3.25 in high school] and having a really out of control personal life [which included taking trips constantly, meeting new people, and being free]. i feel as if my mind has always been freed. i feel that i do not connect with others as well as i should, and i think that is due to the immense separation that there is between the way that my and their brains function.

it's an underlying thing; like i already know what's going to happen, what's going to be said, and what possibilities lie 10fold beyond that point. to be around another gifted individual is a true gift that i do not really get the pleasure of often enough. even a commonly intelligent person seems to stupify as you factor in the gifted. there is something much more alive about the way that a gifted individual's mind works than that of a regular human being.

there is also the social conflict; acting differently around others so that you can be accepted by them. i find that this method, though seemingly the only one available, is actually very bad for a gifted individual. as life progresses, we find that more and more times than not we are aggrevated and angered by the way the world is turning, and there is seemingly nothing we can do about it. our words go unheard, our tales unknown. we fade into the darkness of the outer rims of our society, or proceed forward, losing that which truly made us unique in the first place. this oneness, this emotional extreme, dies as we begin to socialize and act a part for others. we become socially acceptable and therefore lose a part of what we truly are. consequentially, i think that more gifted people are truly different when they are apart from large groups than a normal person would be, seeing as the mind of a gifted person continues to think and contrive different erratic thoughts at a constant rate.

reality hurts a gifted person. as a gifted person, i want nothing more than to be able to assist the world with my mind, helping to solve the problems which i see undoubtedly in the world today. it seems to me, however, that even though i have known since the day i was born that i was different than everyone else, i am still required to do things in the same fashion as them. i truly wish there was a place for me so that i could grow and supply myself with the things that i truly need to succeed in the way that i see myself succeeding in the future.

life is an epic battle for those with the gift.

so

2007-09-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

fight the power

[-http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/-]

heed the revolution

save the world

2007-06-30T00:43:00.000-07:00

all of the major countries in the world must find a way to combine.

we're at a breaking point. either we're going to collapse upon ourselves, us being the entire world, or we're going to rise up and take advantage of all of our resources as humans, not necessarily as countries.

all of the major countries in the world combine as one world power. they use the resources that they have collectively to give each and every person a suitable living place, food, water, etc. i mean it wouldn't be hard if all currency was abolished and we began to use resources as RESOURCES, not as supplies.

any country who joined the one world power would recieve intense perks. anyone who opposed would be allowed to live how they choose, but will basically be banished to live on it's own until it changes it's mind.

more or less, this is a peaceful rise to peace. we have the weapons, we have the power, but do we really all want to die?

i don't think so. i know that nobody wants to die.

we've been blessed with life. there is no need to fight. if we simply stop our incessant bickering and warfarring, there are only improvements from that state.

is the world really that afraid to take a stand?

is everyone afraid to stop waving around their gun and screaming their message long enough to understand that they are alive and what that really means?

we can save the world.

2007-05-16T06:38:00.000-07:00

nothing more than winter's kiss and summer's firestorm it seemed
has kept us from our dying task, our one and everlasting dream
none of the brave young travelers would ever find their place
as words were spat upon them, they felt nothing but distaste
the mountains echoed her screams of pain, her eyes were made of gold
shining brightly into brisk of a valing, shining winter's orb
and the crows cried loudly falling deeper into drastic night
nothing left but humble sorrow fighting coarsely for the light

the choir sings an empty song, a chorus never told
a tune pervades across these decorated walls of old
and nothing seems to cease or fail; the coveted attack
the shining mountain ranges of the north will not come back
what spawns upon the raging winds; a frightening summer's eve
rains fall in torrents, relentlessly teasing thunder down upon on the fleet
to climb upon these creaking walls, as shadows meet the rain
the struggle lasts 10,000 years, and yet it seemed in vain
to fall within the slumber of the lover's mighty grasp
a lasting toll of all their sorrows breached without a gasp
respect to thee, ye keepers eye, watch over tried and true
after you've lost all that you have the battle's up to you

symphony

2007-04-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

life is a symphony.
a brilliant chord, there is nothing sweeter
a tune of unimaginable proportions and densities
time
the passing of time leads to many changes in the symphony
the symphony eventually begins to screech into a discordia
each note clashing with the other, and yet still resonates the same frequency
each of us has been given a tune
a little song that exists for us and only us
a song that describes every feeling that you've ever felt, every emotion that you've ever run across
your goals, your mission, your dreams, your ambitions and aspirations
a tune that cries your name to the highest of the heavens
a code your own.
as time slips by, listen to your symphony.
recall your true tune, and become one with that tune.
for as long as you are on that frequency, you will always know yourself

in the beginning, there was nothing. black and void were the cosmos.

a great and powerful mind arose from this nothingness, and upon realizing itself and it's conciousness decides to create something of his own. something that would be so great that there could be nothing better or more perfect. not only would this thing exist infinitely with infinite different outcomes, but the basic laws of this said "universe" would actually allow it to run on it's own according to the original "divine plan".

it was glorious.

"and behold," god marveled the greatness that he had created from void black space. and he said it was good.

as he watched from his omnipotent position, god realized that there was one thing missing from the concept.

this, His magnificent creation, was complex and beautiful indeed. but with no one to marvel at the wonders he had created, it would seem that it would all be a waste; a beautifully chaotic masterpiece with no critic to analyze and critique it. was it even real or simply a thought, meerly shrugged at and looked away from?

in that sense, life was developed. a force created to marvel at the greatness that had been created. from nothing was everything created; from the planet that we live on to the millions of star systems in the perceivable universe and far beyond that.

everything, your reality, are nothing more than a thought. we, in turn, are also nothing more than a thought. we were placed here to enjoy and marvel at the wonders that the laws of the universe have given us to behold.

we are observers.

lucky observers.

nothing.

2007-04-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

i walked up to the park bench and looked at it. what a decrepit thing, with it's ears touching the ground in such a timid way that it almost seemed irregular to see it lying here before me.

"what a retched toad!" barked the bench as he slowly began his magical dancing ascent into the trees above him. the dreaded trench disappeared into the gaping void of the night like a dark, evil face gobbling benchsized subs up without gravity. the dust of 1000 flies pondered briefly in the air and swiftly drove me into a state of complete and utter insanity.

"WHERE IS MY TOAD!" i shouted, my voice echoing like the sweet whisper of the wind as it sweeps briskly and gracefully through the mane of such a proud beast. the wind coarsing and swaying through the seemingly unappreciated extensions of this great creature portrayed it's true power. he earned much hood respect from those who had massive terrorizing panic attacks due to sheers.

anyway, i lost my train of thought.

what was i talking about?

"YOUR TOAD! TELL US MORE ABOUT THE TOAD"

oh right. thanks studio audience ;3

studio audience:
*hahahahahahaha*

Right, so anyway, haha, BACK TO THE SHOW!

*applause.*

...

*applause settles.*

"WHERE'S MY TOAD?!" my voice echoed back to me again, as if i had just come back from some sort of realistic commercial break. the light blinded me, and i realized that there was no way that i could ever make it as a ballerina. i danced and i danced every single day, and yet it seemed like there was no part of me that actually had anything to say or do more than wonder out loud, "WHERE IS MY FUCKING TOADDDDDD?!?!"

a soft gentle wind rolled past me as a bird fluttered by, it's white crested wings slashing through the air like a finely sharpened blade.

:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:
:THE TOAD IS NOTHING!:

sucky

2007-04-12T22:31:00.000-07:00

FallenFolf (11:58:11 PM): For lolz
FallenFolf (11:58:13 PM): and great justice
FallenFolf (11:58:15 PM): really
FallenFolf (11:58:18 PM): Its time
FallenFolf (11:58:19 PM): For
FallenFolf (11:58:32 PM): STORY TIME HAPPY FUN WITH FUCKING SHITFACE AND DICKDICK
FallenFolf (11:58:33 PM): AKA
FallenFolf (11:58:37 PM): STORYTIME WITH TRES AND KENNY
m3d1c4lm3ch4n1c4 (10:46:41 PM): SHITFACE IS ME AND DICKDICK IS YOU?!
FallenFolf (11:58:50 PM): I GUESS
FallenFolf (11:58:52 PM): I DUNNo
FallenFolf (11:58:53 PM): BUT
FallenFolf (11:58:55 PM): GOD DAMN
FallenFolf (11:58:56 PM): ITS TIME
m3d1c4lm3ch4n1c4 (10:46:56 PM): OH GOD

One day Joseph was walking down the street when he was stopped by Hepititus B. Joseph stared at the disease and said, "Blahblahbuuufuf". Hepititus B Responded with a "YOU HAVE AIDS AND YOUR COLON IS MADE OF CANCER"... Joseph ran off in tears and ran off to snuggle with the pope

(I used Ran off twice... Lets go with it)

there was a very happy squirrel that lived in a very happy tree underneath a very happy sky in the middle of the FOREST OF DESOLATION!!!!!!!!!, which just so happens to be where the pope was chillin' on this particular occation.

"OH DEAR POPE!" said Joseph.

but it was too late, the pope had been SHOT! BY A JEW! A DIRTY JEW! WITH LOTS OF DIRTY JEW MONEY AND A SKIRT THAT SAID "BAD GIRL" on the back.

The squirrel looked at Joseph and smiled, "what is it my son?"

Joseph Looked to the squirrel with much erection, "Dad..." Said Joseph. "Why am I not like you?"

The squirrel sighed, pulled off his monocle and huffed onto the lense, wiping it with his flannel shirt before he put it back on and puffed on his sugarcane pipe. "Son.. Your mother wasn't really a squirrel.. I got a 13 year old drunk one night and knocked her up.. thats how you came about.. She died because of a tree exploding in a wave of chocolate.. causing her to puff up like a baloon.. and pop.. And out came you...who I'm very ashamed of.."

The squirrel smiled happily and ran off.

Joeseph didn't know what to say or what to think. Why was George Bush the president if Al Gore clearly won the popular vote? Why was a squirrel his father? Was his mother hot? If he had sexual intercourse with a packet of mayonaise would anyone notice?

"ALL THAT YOU MUST KNOW CAN BE FOUND IN 12 FREE ISSUES OF SPORTS ILLUSTRATED FOR COUCH POTATOES AND GUYS WITHOUT SANDALS!"

...what the fuck was that?

ANYWAY, back to the story, Joseph was SO confused that he made a portable stereo system out of a barnacle and 35 toasters and made an album called "10 things i hate about having sex with mayonaise"

it won two emmy's and a grammy for best picture.

Joseph began living it up... in a tree.. With his squirrel heritage and all.. it wasn't unusual.. He was fine in the tree as long as he had acrons and mayo.. and a picture of Jaleel White to keep the mayo in use..

One day.. Joseph began to dance with sadness as a cow jumped over the earth.. This caused him to die instantly as a resault of hibernating bears in the summer... a strange phenomenon.. but a wonderful gas pocket none the less..

Next day later.. 2 beaver fucked a cougar and made a chicken.

after the chicken crossed the street, which was not an odd thing for a chicken to do in a twisted neighborhood like SLAMSVILLE, he was stuck by a rapidly moving eggwhite that had falled from the 2nd story of a car with 2 zombies on the roof.

the chicken flew through the air, it's feathers turning into midgets with darts, and stabbed that guy that Dick Cheney shot.

"OH WOE IS ME!" shouted some random guy, as an icepick fell from the side of his african manslave and shattered into 6million rupees on the soft, moist vaginal wall of the cave that he happened to be taking a massive penis leak in.

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN! BRUCE WILLIS SHOT OWEN WILSON! And the world of movies was destroyed for EVER!

But before that some dude in a race coat pooped the national anthem at the Yankee's game...

And thats why this story sucks..

The end

MOMMY ARE PENGUINS REAL?!

2007-03-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

me:

2 buttons were walking down the physical plane of saturated fats when a mild mannered telephone pole by the name of steve abruptly stepped into their path.
[GET THE JUICES FLOWING]

kenny:

Steve stood tall with his long stringy hair and laughed heartily, "HAHAHAHA! YOU BUTTONS THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK ALL OVER THE PLACE DPM
DON'T YOU!"
[DPM was accident]

me:

[GOOD MISTAKE}
"well gee mr. lightpost"

"I AM A TELEPHONE POLE YOU SILLY ASSPIE!"

Sent at 9:20am on Tuesday March 27, 2007

me:

"erm, mr. telephone pole...excuse me...But why would we not be allowed to walk here? is this a no buttons zone?"

as the button inquired as to his purpose on the planet and his place in the giant "scheme" of things he remembered a little tune by the name of "Frothy Porkchops and Hamburger Meat"

and he sang

kenny:

He sang long and loud. As his friend become confused and worried.

"YOU STUPID BUTTON! THATS THE WORST SONG IN THE WORLD!" said Steve as he used his skills of a lumberjack to chop himself down and land on the poor singing button.

me:

SMASH! barbeque sauce flew gracefully from the eyes of the innocent button as the sun played hopscotch in the meadow with some children. their screams could be heard from miles away as they were exposed to amounts of cosmic radiation far beyond recommended dosage, and were also eating cocoa pebbles at the time.

kenny:

While this is all very important and interesting.. Its not the tale we wish to tell today. In fact.. There is a much more important and interesting story that needs to be told.. A story about a bumble bee named Chris Buzzingstone.

Chris was a happy bumble bee.. In fact.. There was nothing more that he enjoyed than Bumbling.. Until one day.. Someone stole his Bumbler.

me:

grocery store owners sailed around the world on meats and boyant packets of delicious, delectable condiments. their mouths flowed with syrup, their ears with wax. their eyes were coated in a thin microscopic resin deposit. and yet despite all these things, Chris' Bumbler was never to be seen.

"OY AVAST YE PIRATES! HAVE YE SEEN ME BUMBLER?"

"NO LAD, YOU SHOULD HAVE EATEN MORE CORN THIS WEEKEND! HELPS KEEP A GOOD TRACKER IN THE TURD, EH?!"
turd pile^

kenny:

Chris began to sob. "GOLLY GEE WILLICKERS MISTER! MY BUMBLER IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD!"

"What happened to ye pirate accent?"

"Someone just stole it... Now I cant bumble or get fat loots.. I'm such a child pornography conniseur.." Chris said with a tear running from his nipple

me:

now there were many pirates in the sea, but none as noted or feared as the mighty morphin dolphin pirates from saphron 2, a scottish resort off the coast of new guinea. these fierce pirates weilded swords of solid cheese, and blades of tall grass that would make their opponents get all those little red itchy bumps all over there skin and, well, not have a very pleasant time, if i do say so myself.

fortunately these were only ballpoint pens, and not actually pirates at all that Chris was talking to.

kenny:

Never the less... Chris POWERED UP! Holding his fist into the air and shouting "SUPER AIDS FIGHTER CLASS Z ALPHA CHARCOAL KING SQUID BUCKET TURTLE IN A HALF SHELL!" And screamed loudly.. "FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" And transformed into a pleasently plump carrot, which was then picked up by a fluffy pink bunny named Charles Luphlin Schinslimderheindershtein III

me:

Charlie, or BLADERINGER4000THEMOVIE, went on to live a fulfilling life in a salad at a local chili's.after 15 fiber tablets and a bottle of whiskey, it was finally time. it had been dark for what seemed like weeks, but Charlie could finally see some form of light; opening, closing...shining bright like a beacon or the north star, then quickly closing back up like if the deathstar woulda imploded instead.

me:

[LOL HE BAKES SUGAR COOKIES LOL]

kenny:

It was soon that Charlie realized he was in Hell... Or as most people call it.. Canada.. Charlie cried helplessly as he was surrounded by many french speaking meatloaf salads. "BONJOUR" said one "NEUF!" Said another."Corne" said the last as they smothered Charlie in a delicious sauce made of syrup and cactus spines.

me:

he was in a spiney euphoria; like a reindeer eating half of your face off, just without the rabies and the chromosonal information exchange without exchanging phone numbers afterwards. they bent him over quickly promptly and slid his syruppy ass striaght to the duncan donuts.

inside the dunkin donuts was a world of color and happiness. the fresh aroma of sprinkles in a fine wine sauce slithered its way through the air and mixed with the dry, skanky odor of the small pimply milksock that sat sluggishly behind the counter.
QUITE promplty
promply
TLY
SHIT

kenny:

Not 5 seconds after Charlie had finally found happiness and the meaning to life... HE EXPLODED IN A BARAGE OF AMAZING COLORS AND LIQUIDS!..

It was then that the world finally stopped moving and sat down on its couch to sit down and watch its favorite show... The sun... The sun was great fun.. always bubbling and making lava spew everywhere.. But it was shiny and bright.. and the world just couldn't resist.. IT HAD TO TOUCH IT! IT HAD TO FEEL IT! IT HAD TO INSERT ITS ERECTION INTO ITS WARM LAVA GOO!

me:

but first he had to get some MUFFUKKIN MILKSHAKES! he drove down to jack in the crack, which was actually located in a black hole somewhere near-*

"as soon as my balls stop touching, this shit won't be as gay" said the earth, his tingling mount everest slowly making it's way towards the milky, chocolatey flavor of a mint flavored candy poopscooper 4million3, his favorite creamy treat
*[NOTE: THE EARTH WENT IN THE BLACK HOLE]

kenny:

Within the black hole which was actually a night club for planets, Earth passed out. awaking the next morning laying nude next to Jupiter. "FUCK! Said Earth as he tried to escape.. But Jupiter rolled over and smiled sexily at him with its big ugle Jupiter face. "Hey honey..." Said Jupiter.

Earth gulped and tried to get away.. But Jupiter woudl have nothign of it. "OH NO YOU DON'T! WE'RE MARRIED NOW!"

Earth then commited suicide and left Jupiter all alone to give birth to their outcast of a son Pluto.. Who everyone made fun of, telling it that it wasn't a real planet.

me:

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE MILKSHAKES

milkshakes are really amazing. you should eat one at least 6 times a day, 7 on the sabbath. [one for the lord, you know] milkshakes come in many different flavors, the best of which being carved fetus with lamb tongu crappleaid

comes with a free toy, like a cereal box or a playstation three aka teh most amazing paper weight ever.

so mars was all pissed cuz he didn't get invited into the story, and since he herd wun time that earth was all HOT from the sun, he wanted to try to, ya know, give it a poke.

kenny:

Mars closed in on the son.. Who was sleeping at the time.. Mars knew there would be consequences to getting a poke on with the sun.. But he went for it anyway...

The consequences were dire.. He immediatly let out a mighty skeet as his penis was burned off and the rest of his planet body melted.. The sun became pregnant and gave birth to a new baby jesus.

me:

jesus came to earth to die for our skins, and eat babies, and kill vampires with his mighty cartoon powers. but earth was all married and jupiter was like "OooooOOhh i want a TTT-SHIRT! BUY ME SOMETHING WITH MORE CREAAAM" all the time, and earth really couldn't do too much to help jesus out.

so finally 2000 years later some hippies decided to put leaves inside of guns and it turned them into tree limbs that fired magical fairy dust at everybody. suddenly they were all catching on fire and trying to do the limbo, which jesus specifically endorsed by wearing airJESUS logo shirts on all of his podcasts.

kenny:

Then Jesus' biggest rival came to existance... ANTI-JESUS!

Jesus and Anti-Jesus locked together in a heated battle underneath the sheets... Jesus was overwhelmed with the thrust and power of Anti-Jesus.. So he had to push his savior powers to the limit.. and became SUPER JESUS! DEFENDER OF LIVES! SAVIOR OF SINS! SEXER OF WOMENS!

Anti-Jesus could do nothing but take Jesus' SM Punishments!

me:

anti-jesus went back to the negaverse, and got some crystals from some guy who looked like a chick with hair and stuff like chicks have. he got really pissed and started eating piles of ants for 3 weeks. after a rejuvenating cup of minty blueberry muffind for supper, he was ready for this triumphant return.

meanwhile, jesus is all being awesome and skateboarding and well, pretty much everything. he invents a pair of glasses that let you turn into a werewolf, and builds an army of angry werewolve/human hybrid earthspawn for the counter-attack on anti-jesus' return

kenny:

an epic battle raged on for 2 seconds.. And then... Everyone died.. For no reason.. God just go pissed or something.. And shit happened.. And thats how we came into existence.. Two guys put on the remains of earth to tell the story... But since nobody is even alive anymore.. we just tell the story to eachother.. and eat pie.. and muffin sauce.. Its delicious...

me:

and that's why penguins live at the north pole.

THE END

BONUS MATERIAL!

10:30pm
me:
dude
what the fuck, how did that happen
we went from talking about, i don't even remember

kenny:
Buttons and a phone pole

me:
god dammit

kenny:
[equal grin]

me:
and we got all the way to jesus

kenny:
XD

me:
we are 1337

kenny:
We always ALWAYS get to Jesus

me:
XD
XD
SOMEHOW YES

kingdoms

2007-03-27T05:25:00.000-07:00

all of the energy in this particular universe is trapped in a single atom. this is the atomic level of existance that occured moments before the event science calls the "big bang". in each atom is the potential energy to do phenominal things. [um, nuclear weapons.] at this point there was a cosmic cingularity between all known matter in this universe, but it could not behave that way for long. within a catastrophically short amount of time, this energy would have to re-expand, and would do so with great force as the atom breaks apart, it's potential force greater than it's mass or gravitational pull. eventually, it would expand to such a point that it would reach the point which it began, and gravitatinal singularity would occur., constantly reinventing itself and returning, indefinately to a refined singularity, only to reconfigure and start all over again.

this "big bang" would be the birth of life. the point where everything in the universe was placed into perfect motion to achieve just what was necessary to be achieved. the point where the mind began it's existance. the one cosmic intelligence that rules over all other forces. the ether. the source.

now that life and conciousness exists, we need to find a place to use it.

planet earth, a beautiful garden in the cold, dark recesses of space. a perfect place for life.

as of 1977, there are 6 kingdoms in the current kingdom structure: eubacteria, archaebacteria, protista, fungi, and anamalia* [which includes humans, by the way]. we are currently at the 6th level of creation. the 6th level of conciousness.

there are also 3 domains to consider in which each of these kingdoms fall into: bacteria, archaea, and eukarya*, the third, of course containing us and everything on our level. on this level, everything is percieved in 3-dimensions. Space [depth], Time [length], and Distance [width]. perhaps creatures in the domains below ours percieve only 2 or 1 dimension, an atom existing at a lower, zero dimension. [remember kids, zero does not represent nothing, because nothing cannot exist in reality. zero is the number directly between positive and negative infinity at it's meeting point.] this would also explain why an electron can never be properly placed, because it is never actually present in spacetime.

this is where it gets fun. now we tie in religion.

ok, so the number of the devil is 666, yes? 6th level of existance. 666 = ceasar. ceasar = our rulers or those over us in this current stage. the "boss", if you will.

did that make sense? am i cooky?

7 is the number of god, and hmm, i guess it wouldn't be a complete shot in the dark to say that possibly, the next "kingdom" that we will one day be aware of will be "the kingdom of heaven"?

what if hell is being constantly trapped in level 6, never beating it and never being able to get away from it. constantly in a state on wondering, of thinking, of having the ability to fail, and hurt, and die?

From Wikipedia: "Though actual perceptible space-time is a 4-dimensional Minkowski space (see special relativity), human beings usually perceive space as a three-dimensional space as long they don't notice anything with high relative velocity."

space; the "heavens", are in that fourth dimensional plane.

from one atom we were born, as is so with the universe.

after death, what is there to fear? does conciousness just fade away into nothingness? if so, where does the energy go? would it be a whimsical claim to think that possibly becoming part of the kingdom of heaven is something more actual than it is parable? after death, our natural energy leaves our body and stays at the wavelength that it was currently recieving information from. we shall "return to dust". in a sense, you would become a part of the entire concious flow of energy in the universe. part of the heavens.

all of the energy in the universe will eventually recombine, at the point of the cosmic gravitational singularity. a balance in gravity in the entire universe. the end of an age. the completion of a sphere. as the sphere continues to grow in size outwardly, eventually it will reach a point where it becomes so large that it encapsulates itself into a larger, even more enourmous sphere.. this sphere, however, is still moving outward from the force of the shockwave from this said cosmic "big bang". this force will expand outwardly in 4dimensions until IT resets, adding yet another layer.

there are a far many layers above ours as well as below, as the future and past have already been cosmicly mapped out.

your mission in life is to discover a way to beat this level. your only stipulation is to do what it is that you want. you have the freedom of choice, and an inner mind to guide on you on your path.

live.
breathe.
learn.

use your mind.

peace be with you.

*from wikipedia.com

a story for the lame

2007-03-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

Zero sits back in the seat of the car.. laying back and lets out a sigh, "Damn.. These stakeouts sure suck ass.."

Nghtmr is leaning forward, his eyes fixated inside of the small plastic binoculars he holds to his face. He slightly grins and presses a button on the top, shutting off the nightvision, "ah come on, this isn't too bad." leaning back, his allows his eyes to avert into the night sky.

Zero sits up and rubs his eyes, "Yeah, Could be worse.. Why the hell did we decide to be cops again?" As he pulls out a toothpick from his pocket to chew on.

"I dunno," Nghtmr kicks up his feet onto the dashboard, "what the hell else are we supposed to do? start a circus? 'COME SEE THE AMAZING FIRESWORD KID AND HIS SIDEKICK THAT GUY THAT DOES STUFF!' yeah i'm sure it would be great"

Zero shakes his head. "I dunno.. Maybe we could have like.. Been musicians or something.. Fuck.. Who knows.. Its almost sad how being a cop was the only job we could get.... It sucks even more that we're good at it."

"How could we be bad at it? Out whole lives have practically been dedicated to murderous bloodsports," Nghtmr clicks his teeth slightly, "but yeah, we shoulda been musicians.."

"Remember that time I punched that dude in the face... and then he was actually a woman... but she was actually a drug dealer and dropped a bunch of dope.. and then I got to haul her in and not get in trouble because I said that I punched her because I knew she had dope, and that I was just a bad cop.. Yet I still got that reward because she was the biggest drug dealer in town?" Zero said randomly just because he couldn't think of anything else to talk about

"Yeah i guess so," Nghtmr said, not really paying attention. Noticing something in the distance, he raises his binoculars and hits the night vision, "Hmm, what's this..." Flashes? "Is that gunfire?"

Zero grabs his binoculars and looks as well, "Hmm? Gun fire on such a simple drug deal? Something more must be going on if so.. Did you even see anyone go in the house?"

"Nah, i wasn't paying attention," Nghtmr keeps watching, "we should probably hold our position until, ya know..."

"Until I finish my donut?" Zero says grabbing one out of the box.

Nghtmr pauses, "hey, you remember that time we were in that boot camp and i got drugged by that random shit?"

Zero nods and bites into the donut, "Yeah that was funny. You totally ran into that electric fence." He said with a mouthfilled mumble.

"you don't think they sell that shit around here, do ya?" Nghtmr says seriously, a grin moving over his face like cheese on a pizza.

Zero shakes his head, "Prolly not dude," He gulps the donut and takes another bite, "That was military grade shit."

Nghtmr lets out a chuckle, "Damn taht's unfortunate." he clicks his teeth, "did you say i ran into an electric fence?"

Zero laughs and nods, "You were fried in more ways than one."

"look man, if you woulda been dancing in that field with those fairies you would know what i was talking about, not to mention that there was a full on assault of teddy bears making their march of PURE EVIL straight at me." nghtmr pauses for a moment, "well that and the fact that they were trying to blast me..."

Zero smiles and looks out the window to see and old lady get mugged, "Yeah I'd like to help her.. but we can't leave our post.. Poor old bitch..." He looks back at the house and sees smoke comming from it. "Hmm.. House is smokin..."

Nghtmr takes a peek, "Hmm, looks like it's on fire. It's really a bummer that we can't leave our post, though." he picks up a donut and, pulling something out of his pocket, takes a bite, and then a sip of coffee, "AH SHIT!" the coffe was hot. and yeah, it burned his stupid face.

"Careful man... Hey.. You got a light? I'm bored as hell.. and theres no action going on.." He says watching someone break into someone car further down the street.

Nghtmr looks over at zero, "Your a fire element and you need a light?" a lighter is procured, "man, fucking worthless."

a man crashes against the window of the vehicle, screaming and bleeding from the head, "HELP ME, OH GOD!"

Nghtmr sighs and proceeds to open the door and step out of the vehicle, "Sir, you're under arrest."

Zero watches as the guy gets shot before Nghtmr can arrest him. "Damn.. don't you hate when that happens..." Zero says with a sigh.. "And anyway.. I more or less meant the THING you actually LIGHT."

"what, you mean like a flashlight?" Nghtmr says, placing handcuffs on the bleeding, dying man, "sir, you have the right to remain silent..and uh...yeah you're dead so what's the point. you have no rights." he gets back into the car. two bullets ricochet off of the front of the car, "HEY!, QUIET DOWN OUT THERE, JEEZUS"

Zero grumbles, "I MEAN A CIG MAN! GOD DAMN!" He says as the house they're watching explodes. "Fuckin house is a pain in the ass... I guess.. since there are people fuckin on fire outside the house that means we should get out and see whats going on..."

Nghtmr grabs two cigs and hands one over to zero, "yeah, i guess you're right." he rolls down the window slightly, "Hey buddy, you got a li...oh nevermind, you're dead."

Zero a bit hesitantly gets out of the car. "Damn.. I was hoping I wouldn't have to do shit today.." He shuts the door and heads for the house, "Make sure you lock it.. " he says walking towards the screaming, on fire people. "SHUT THE HELL UP! OR YOUR ALL UNDER ARREST GOD DAMMIT!"

Nghtmr is out of the car kicking the dead man, "JUST GIVE ME A LIGHT DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK!" he sees zero walking toward the house and decides to follow.

Zero walks up to a charl broiled guy laying on the ground, hardly breathing.. "Damn cops.. Always show up... at the worst time.." said the guy as his eyelids fell off. "Whats goin on." Said Zero kicking the guy slightly with his foot. "AHHH!" Screamed the guy, "ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! We were doing a huge drug deal.. and we were going along fine.. when all of a sudden the mother fucker notices he left the stove on... and the cat hoped on the stove.. and caught on fuckin fire.. and started running around.. " "The cat caught of fire.. from a stove?" "ITS A FUCKIN GAS STOVE! GOD DAMN!" Zero kicked the guy again, "Alright.. Shut up and just lay there to death."

[HAHAHA]

[=3]

Nghtmr walks up to the burning man,

"OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME!"

Nghtmr lights his cigarette and moves on, "IS THERE ANYONE NOT ON FIRE OUT HERE?!"

"ME!" says a man, about 6ft tall.

"ok, so tell me what happened."

"well i was trying to sell these guys all of this governmental hallucinogen and"

BANG!
SHOT IN THE FACE

Zero inspects around the house.. "Fuck.. I guess I should call the rest and the stupid firefuck heads.." He heads back to the car, a few people still running and screaming on fire.

"Nghtmr.." He says walking up to him.. "I'm going call the fuckheads."

"WHAT DADDY?! NOT THE FISH AGAIN! AHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA" Nghtmr responds, his eyes pupillated like a piece of fine china, "HOLY CRAP DID THIS GUY GET SHOT IN THE FACE?!"

Zero walks back after about 10 minutes, "K.. They're on they're way.. They'll be here shorty.."

TWO HOURS LATER!!!!!!!

The rest of the cops n shit arive.

TRUE TO LIFE

Things go on and shit.. and the next morning the papers read,.. "TWO COPS SAVE THE DAY!" The article reads on. "During a drug bust, Two cops on a stakeout took out about 20 drug dealers who were carying top grade hullicinagins which are known to also be double as explosives when in the hands of terrorists.. The two cops were both premoted and given lotsa moneyz! THEY WIN INTERNETZ!"

YAY THE END!

FOR THE WIIIIIIIN

WOOOOOOOO!

by kenny and tres, who are both cooler than you

thoughts

2007-03-27T05:21:00.001-07:00

without ever really thinking, somehow i always seem to know every possible outcome to every single situation. there's a point at which the mind thinks before the actual human ego is able to process this information. i believe that if the ego is conquered, the mind functions at a higher rate than it once did before. more or less, a "higher frequency".

when your mind is clear and you're thinkng about nothing, maybe you're driving down the street staring blankly into the road. you're thoughts are drowned out by music. at that point, you're not thinking about the road or what you're actually doing, your mind is completely elsewhere. processing information as it comes into your brain through 5 senses simultaneously. this is a state of learning.

of course, this is where the ego comes in, "Oh shit, what am i doing right now? i NEED to pay attention."

but what if you don't? what if, once the ego is quieted and the mind is allowed to process information through not only sight and sound but internal thought beyond your logical human thinking? this does happen, that is a fact. your ability to process information is the same as anyone elses because you are alive. you have within you the same base structure, but due to changes and living situations/life experiences/others, you have changed. but underneath, below every skin tone or ethnicity, is the same, one thinking mind. the same program that we all hold, just slightly modified from each other model in more ways than one.

i mean come on, the human race has had a little time to diversify.

basically, trust in the one true self. the you behind the you that you have created. your true self.

many already do.

you find that without your ego, your personal thoughts that effect the decisions that you make and the things that you do are done automatically, basically without thought. you don't need to think about typing or writing, because you do it all the time. stop concentrating on the things that you know your mind is capable of doing.

and USE YOUR MIND! every person has potential to logically become something more than what they are. you must choose your path in life. pick a dream and go for it. be ready for changes and obstacles, they're all part of learning! realize that your mind doesn't just learn a few hours a day, it is constantly learning, and it never stops.

use your mind. read a book. write a book. tell a story. do your HOMEWORK! play a video game. daydream.

albert einstein once said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge..."

use your mind.

thinking, analyzing, concentrating. close down your ego, there is no use for it. be humble. be kind. live here, in the present. spend 3 hours daydreaming, sitting on your ass, or laying in your bed. but use your mind. don't run through the motions and forget to pay attention to the incredible amount of information that is at your fingertips every day.

sit down in a quiet place and listen to the wind howl through the trees. go on a long drive with the windows down. relax your self. relax your thoughts. sit back and absorb the moment. absorb it with all your senses. feel the pressure of the air pressing into your skin, the muscles in your body moving. slow down your breathing.

you hear nothing, but then behind your thought, where you once thought there was nothing, you hear a voice. that voice is your own.

listen to it. listen to your TRUE self.

peace to all of you.
be wise in your journey.

forward

2007-03-27T05:21:00.000-07:00

what do i do now?
the light is blinding
i can't allow myself to become blind
but i know in my heart that something is changing
and sadly i can't get it out of my mind
like everything that is around me
is lacking more than it ever has before
and the more i run forward
the farther i get from a place where i'll readily go
someplace unknown
i want to fly
fly away from here
there's nothing for me anymore
not here
these cold walls have grown stale

it's like knowing the end of a story before you even read it
or something complicated that was spawned and reseeded
inside of your mind
you notice every change
and somehow others are blind
you try to warn them
try to tell them of the things that you feel
but in a world so cold we forget how to know
the difference between what's fake and what's real
no one knows how to express what they're seeing
how the world's greatest power got ahead by just cheating
it's obscene
nonsensical that culture made life this way
but maybe time will change all of it and we won't have to replay
but still i say, something has arisen here in the sky
be guided not by the night
but by the gentle wispy light of the moon

we're not cosmonauts
we have a mission
hold my hand
i don't want to go alone.

let he who is not guilty cast the first stone

how do you awaken the world

2007-03-27T05:20:00.000-07:00

how can you change people's hearts
open their minds
connect them into your great
scheming puzzle of life

why does everything seem to crash downward
why are we stuck on this rock as it cascades through space
a speck of nothing in the universe
and yet we have been blessed with a further power
the power of life
the power of thought
the power of control
the power of insight

and somehow these things go unnoticed

we speculate and predict our future so well that we forget about chaos
we forget about problems and ignore things
and the more that we fall through and ignore these things the more we lie not only to ourselves but to those around us
we must find the true center
the one key element that brings us closer
that puts us in the drivers seat

this is not a time to fight
it is a time of waiting
the calm before the storm
sit, my friends, and wait
soon we will know what we are meant to do

have faith and follow your chosen path.

spaz out

2007-03-27T05:19:00.001-07:00

picture yourself in a room.

what does the room look like?

do you hear anything?

the sound of your own voice echoes off of the walls, sending chills into the deepest sections of your mind.

are you really there?

hello! testing testing, can anyone hear me?

has the screen gone blank?

picture your room again.

there is a door in front of you.

what does it look like?

how does it's texture feel running across your fingers?

smooth?

course?

what is the shape of the door?

is it tall and slender?

fat and obtuse?

your fingers slide gently across the handle. it's ebony shine reflects from the unseen lights above you. it is cold against your fair skin.

where are you now?

click! the lock falls with a tinge of despair. the door gently opens.

fear?

excitement?

aggression?

what do you feel as you open the door?

light slowly enters your frame of vision, overempowering all of your senses.

the door has been opened. your struggle is over.

you step into a room.

what does the room look like?

a calming winter's veil

2007-03-27T05:19:00.000-07:00

twisting daintily through rough conditions
calm and soothing, the winter's flight
a bruised and battered carol
permeates throughout the crowd tonight
an unknowing cloud, a sea of darkness
a promise to subside
but to all those who are trapped in waiting
this dream has been denied
and as the leaves fall and turn again
a deeper shade of green
cascading over lighted paths
that some have never seen
i say to thee, fear not my friends
these paths are just for fun
for twisting pathways never cease
but all lead back to one
so stop your search, you've found the light
there's nothing left to fear
your faith, your love, your happiness
will help you persevere
and even though the wind may chill
the sun will slave away
until the world can just sit still
there's always another day
do not give up your memories
they're meant to teach you well
and don't give up your passions
or your dreams will surely fail
you are the leader of the pack
and you can win the race
or sit inside your narrow mind
and fall silently into place

this is for my people.
<3tres

racism vs logic

2007-03-27T05:18:00.000-07:00

this is a small tidbit that i'd like to entitle, "racism vs logic."

essentially, when you get down past the skin, the bones, and the general structure of all humans, you find one thing that is the same: the deciding, conquering mind. the mind that gives the killer power to kill, the judge the power to condemn, and the monk the power to transcend. the ever present, ultimate one thinking mind.

most people who believe in racism, practice racisim, or believe that race is a deciding factor in reality are people who cannot see past the surface, even of themselves. they view themselves in the spectrum of color: white, black, hispanic, etc. In reality, there is no color. colors are the reflection and refraction of light through your perceiving eye. ever presently, however, is everything and nothing all at once. broken down past the surface, nothing can be seen but trace patterns and lights. each layer of this said reality controls a small infinite set of possibilities with limitless and also infinite "soultions".

[had to keep that typo in, it was too good]

so, to break it down, you, your mom, your dad, your uncle, that black family across the street, those crackers at work, everyone you love, everyone you hate, etc. all are part of the same infinite life force of the universe which is controlled and by [infinite possibilities].

[we're all talking about the same thing. we always perceive the same reality, just out of different windows.]

and there's really nothing you can do about that until you accept it.

...it's an illusion!

a glance into enlightenment

2007-03-27T05:15:00.000-07:00

0/0=1

anything else divided by 0=infinity

nothing fits into nothing once.

it's a paradox, basically. if nothing can exist, it could not possibly be divided by itself. itself is nothing, therefore it would and could never happen. NOTHING is NOTHING which would make it intangible and unfathomable to begin with

fortunately, 0 is not "nothing", 0 is the middlepoint between positive and negative integers. infinitely numbers can get bigger or smaller from zero.

still, the fact remains, any number divided by itself is 1.

0/0 = 1 because it would go into itself once.

numbers may be meant to represent reality, but that doesn't mean that the rules and laws of numbers always have to apply to reality. in reality, unless you're counting, zero does not exist.

0 = imaginary = infinity

therefore

any number/0 = infinity

any number/infinity = 0

the answer could logically and mathematically be anything.

but what happens in the case of any number/-infinity = -0?

p p p p paradox

what to write about?

2006-11-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

3:10 am.

driving mr. lippmann to new orleans tommorow.

that'll be nice. money is always nice.

i suppose what's on my mind most is people.

people that are close to me, or at least in some point in time were close to me.

seems like my little world's changing again.

or more to say, it HAS been changing over the past few months.

those who i was once close to have now basically blocked me out of their lives.

drugs have done their job in scraping away at what i thought was happiness within a group of people.

now it seems all we want to do is get high. whatever your poison, it's all the same.

i have very little to say. speaking is the harder part of everyday life simply due to the fact that there just aren't enough words to convey what one really thinks.

well not enough to say fast enough to keep someone's attention, or have them notice that you're being sincere.

driving lippmann's kinda a job to me now. i got a call from cannata's today that i missed, but hopefully when i call in tommorow everything will be cool and i'll have a starting date :3

as the simplicity of a normal thing becomes more and more complicated, it becomes less about the fun and more about the activity. this is a turning and a breaking point in many situations. the more complications that arise, the less fun actually doing said thing becomes.

example: playing a game with your friends, then creating rules.

this can be placed into many different views.

"i don't do the same drugs as you do"

"I don't view this thing the same way that you do"

"you don't allow yourself to be talked to and you deliver no words nor feelings that express your true thoughts without being a complete asshole [which, by the way, doesn't work when you're dealing with real life people. sure it's ok to be an asshole, but why waste your time being a dick to someone who does nothing but enjoy your company?]."

why must we complicate life and all that encompasses it?

if you want to do something; DO IT!

you'll never quite reach the top. kinda hard to get to infinity in such a short period of time.

live every day with the same life and vitality that you show in your wildest dreams and fantasies.

concentrate your mind. tweak it. you can never stop learning, and you're never "the best." there will always be someone who will come and steal that crown from you.

love your surroundings, love others, and feel your life day by day. you have emotions for a reason, you know.

take a risk. do something that you want to do. don't live it for the cash and the security, take a chance. shit, FAIL! it's not wrong to fail as long as you get back up and dust off your jeans and keep walking forward with your wisdom at your side.

your reality decieves you. don't trust your eyes.

all i'm asking for is a little common sense from everyone that i know.

i love you all, and i wish that there didn't have to be some fucking animosity between a few of us.

honestly, i don't even know why it's there.

maybe i put up a wall. maybe it was you?

maybe this has nothing to do with anything and i'm just being an idiot?

TALK TO ME!

i'm listening.

tres

infinity

2006-11-07T01:33:00.001-08:00

last night, as i was sitting in my living room, the world swirling around in a vibrant display of colors and drastic lights, i felt something happen that i have felt very few times in the entirety of my life.

a heard a rush of blood. the frontal lobes of my brain began to bulge and swell, as apparently they are not used to such stimulation.

what happened next can only be described as my third eye opening.

deliving into infinity, seeing myself and everything around my as a general fracture that goes on specifically forever, i could not ask another question.

infinity is possible, you're just looking at it through the wrong eyes. [or eye?]

we spend so much time looking around, living in this image of TIME we have all created. what if time had no limit? what if a second could last an eternity? what is an eternity?

a neverending voyage into BEYOND, beyond anything you could see, hear, do, or even think. infinity is there, noting every free movement, every last word that comes from your mouth, or even from the words you write [or type, hence what i am doing] or think

everything that could happen will happen and DOES happen! infinity is there, but there is no way that you could understand what that means.

and even if you could, would that even really matter?

just know that every second has billions of microseconds inside of it, and inside each of those an even smaller percentage of "time" and "space"

[imagine if i told you that everything was free floating in a void of nothingness and that only when we cross over past the pathways of understanding toward that said "thing" and where it exists apart from yourself in its own conflicting universe can we control that item (pick it up, interract with it, etc) you might not NOTICE, since half of the things you do in everyday life are "running through the motions", but trust me, everything is there because it is meant to be]

your life is your world. YOUR UNIVERSE! make it what you want it to be, and live there happy in a sea of your own wellbeing and contentedness. [hell, might even keep your eyes out for a soul mate. what good are all of life's secrets and intricacies without someone to share them with?]

you're not making a mistake. just follow your heart. [and pay attention to everything that you can! you never know when you'll miss up an opportunity to learn simply because you had to discuss what SHOES you were wearing or what you wanted to DO that evening.] deep down inside, you're the one who knows what's right and wrong for you to do.

trust YOURSELF!

everything's alright. we will all live to see another day.

[plugged into: basic reality 1.0. awaiting program initiation]

peace playaz

PIZZA BOX CHRONICLES

2006-11-07T01:33:00.000-08:00

FROM THE DEPTHS OF THE DEEPEST SECTORS OF THE MINDS OF TRES AND KENNY, THE WEIRDEST DUDES EVER, COMES THIS WONDERFUL TALE OF A MARKER AND A PIZZA BOX WHO GOT "JIGGY WITH IT"

ENJOY! <3

Why The Little Mermaid is a Sad Story
-Tres and KENNY

Peety the paranoid Pterodactyl was having a good day, untill he
realized it was night. It was really dark outside. The sun was
missing!
"OMG THE SUN IS GONE! I bet someone thought it was a cracker pie and ate it!"

So he ran to tell andy the ADHD T-Rex
"OMG! WTF? Where the sun is... I like Cheese... LOOK! A SQUIRREL! OMG!
IS IT DARK!?.... PIE YUM!!" Said Andy.

"YES!" Said Peetie, "I bet someone ate it!"

"I bet it was Bronchy the Bronchitus Bronchosaur! I enjoy feet! Watch
me dance!" And he did. for a LONG time.

Elsewhere, Bimbly the Bumbling Black Bear was having a conversation
with Eric the Euthenazation Eel.
"Yo, mah nigha, where the sun be at? That shit be whack!"

"I know my colored black negro friend." said Eric.
Eric was also spanish.

Suddenly, Eric exploded.

"AWWW HELL NAW!" said Bimbly

Just as that happened, Peete and Andy came in.

"SUP BLACKIE!"

"MAN, I told yall nigahs tah... tah... nevah call me that shit, crackaz!"

"The sun is eaten! WTF!?"

"Yo I bet that cracka ass Bronchasaurus Rex ate it. That nigah is WHACK!"

"Let's go see him.... her... that stick.. I like pee!" Complied Andy.

Bronchy was chillin in his crib when suddenly, a knock on the door
approached from bees. It was a trio of cracka ass black fuckers and
two white Dinosauruses.
"WHY YOU ALWAYS EAT MY SUN!?"

"What you talking bout, Willis?" Said Bronchy. "He's in my room!"

And then the sun came out and the dinosaurs became extict, and that is
why the little mermaid is a sad story.

The end.

[kenny:
This is what happens when you steal cookies from Zero. Don't mess with my cookies, bitch.

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...just put...like...uhhhhhhhhh..." - A quote from the infamous WOLFZERO.

Posted by Nghtmr]
<3

:(

2006-11-07T01:31:00.000-08:00

just had an ordeal with my brother.
last night he took too many xanax, woke up this morning in my mom's panties, and matching thong [yeah seriously, don't ask.]

mom woke me up screaming at him about how he was still fucked up. 15 minutes late i'm in my car, driving him to school.

i find that it's my place to tell my little brother when i see him doing something that he shouldn't be. it's also my place to pound that fuckin' ass every now and then to set the whole thing straight. due to issues [his ear] i've never really been able to smack the shit out of him. i feel the day drawing nearer. i hope it never comes.

i told him he needs to stop doing what he's doing, and that he was ruining his life. his indignant attitude, however, suggested otherwise. i was the asshole for trying to help. i was the one in the wrong.

[was i really? was i being hypocritical for telling him what he did wrong, yet i still smoke myself?

no, i don't think so. i admit, i have done some stupid things. i have tried some things that i never thought that i would, and i have learned from each and every thing that i have ever done. i don't regret anything, though sometimes i wish that i had more than what i have now. patience is the greatest virtue, however, and i learn more about it every day. everything will be alright, we have all the time in the world...just because i'm 20 with no job and no clear route to the future doesn't change that. i know where i want to be, and i know how to get there. it's a long, totally unbeaten path that i have never once traveled on. i'm scared. i have been looking for someone to hold my hand while i walk, i suppose that was in fear of falling. after realizing this, i saw that my problem was leaning too hard in one direction. slowly but surely my life will come into everyone's full view, and each of you will see what i am planning to do with myself.

i love all of you. old friends, new friends, friends that i never talk to. you are the people who have helped shape my life. the people who showed me the differences that people can have between one another, and how the powers of true friendship ride strong no matter how hard the winds blow.]

ok back to the story:

5 minutes of bickering between two brothers who are probably nicer to each other than any brothers you know and i asked him to get out of my car. someone stopped to pick him up, but that really doesn't matter. [i woulda went back to get him...that's just something that i would do.]

he brought up my failures in the past. telling me that i was no good, that i had lost bunches scholarships [i actually only lost 1, which i can get back] and that i was just some fucking idiot. that i say "fucking stupid shit" all the time and don't even notice it. basically that i'm just a fucking moron.

maybe if this was coming from someone with more WISDOM i would be careful to let my soul get trampled. this is my little brother. my little 15 year old brother who's mad at the world and found something to calm that rage.

one day he will learn. he will achieve the wisdom that he has been unknowingly seeking. maybe it will be today? maybe a month from now. or maybe it'll be years down the line from here. i know that one day when he open his eyes and see more of the picture than the tiny portion he sees now. [it's them slant eyes, NICKAAAAAAA]

but then again...wisdom must be attained. it cannot be learned.

i really don't know what to do right now, guys. i really don't...

[in other news, job hunting will be beggining shortly. schools i'm looking into: nicholl's, mcneese, ULL, LSU. if none of those win, i'll shoot even farther out there.]

"you have all the time in the world to make a difference."
-tres <3

suicide notes

2006-09-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

worthless pieces of paper, hahaha

anyway, what's up?

i've been playing alot of WORLD OF WARCRAFT recently. this is my blog dedicated to levels 1 - 31 on my warlock, Luno.

starting out this class seemed pretty beasty. i guess i had no idea what i was in for, haha. by level 10 i was prancing about with a humongous voidwalker pet which i summoned from an alternate dimension of CHAOS and TORMENT to do my very bidding! ahahahaha!

level 20 brought the succubus; a hot little number with a giggle, a grin, and a WHIP MADE OF PAIN AND PURE HORROR! taunting, mezzing, and lowering her own hate to focus combat at the caster [aka me] are her strong points. her weak points are sometimes she turns into a fucking moron and forgets to charm something, ends up dying, and costs me, the player, my life.

BUT THAT'S OK FOLKS!

now we're gonna go over stuff that i can summon to assist me in a battle :3

firstly, there's the soul shard. while i'm demolishing another mindless npc and wasting away it's hitpoints with the powers of my hands and DARK MAGIC, i can suck their soul from their LIVING CORPSE! if they perish during combat, their soul is trapped inside of a crystal. i can use this crystal to summon pets, create certain items [be PATIENT!], and basically make the world be like "omg coxsux plz".

WHAT CAN I MAKE WITH A SOUL SHARD?!

firstly, there's the soulstone. wow, what an ingenious thing this is! i summon it from a soul shard [which was discussed RIGHT ABOVE YOU] and recieve it in my inventory :3 either on myself or a team mate whos life is viewed as HIGHER PRIORITY than mine [such as a healer class], i can cast this spell. for the next 30 minutes, if said person kicks the bucket, they are given the option to release their soul [die] or resurrect using SOME OTHER DUDE'S SOUL THAT I STOLE FROM HIM! HOW TIGHT IS THAT SHIT?! that gives warlocks, when soloing, and option that not many games actually give you: you can DIE and then immediately COME BACK TO LIFE with HP AND MANA! TOO GOOD!

then there's the LESSER HEALTHSTONE. hmm...wonder what that does? the only thing that sucks about it is that i can only summon one, and the price of that one is a soul shard. on the upper hand, at least i don't have to waste money on pots! *shrug*

so i've got a pet, i can die and come back to life, i can refill my life with a healthstone...BUT WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?!

well here we go. this is how a fight happens at level 31:

cast dot's [damage over time spells] as i sick my pet on the poor creature that's about to meet it's demise. let's make it...mmm...A HUMAN! so bob's getting damaged every few seconds by my spell. my pet's bashing away at him and he's still in a daze like "WAHT IS GOING ON?!" i shoot him a few times with my wand, dealing probably near 200 damage to his pathetic life bar. if i'm using voidwalker, i don't have to worry about ever being hit; old voidy likes punches in the face. it's like crack, but it's a punch in the face...

sjkadbfjk ANYWAY! voidwalker taunts the creature and i start DRAINING THIS POOR THING'S LIFE INTO MY OWN POOL OF LIFE! from here i can transfer said life to my pet, sacrifice it for mana...OH OH! and while i'm using CORRUPTION [a DOT] or DRAIN LIFE [uh...drains life...] my toon has a chance to go into something blizzard likes to call SHADOW TRANCE! during shadow trance my primary nuke [SHADOW BOLT!] has no cast time! that means without even trying, i'm about to deal an additional 175 - 250 damage to this poor bitch!

so his life hits 100, i start sucking his soul, and lookie here! not only do i get some loot, i also got myself one of them LOVERLY LITTLE SNACK CAKES WE LIKE TO CALL SOUL SHARDS!

but wait! my life, it has suffered! I HAVE FOUGHT SO MANY HUMANS THAT MY LIFE HAS INVERTED! MY HPS HAVE BEEN LESSENED AND I FEEL QUITE WEAK IN MY KNEES!!!

no worries, mate :3 i'll just EAT HIS ROTTING CARCASS!! thanks to the powers of being a fucking zombie, i can CANNABALIZE dead humanoid corpses.

FUCKIN' RIGHT!

*cough* sorry, i got a little carried away. sometimes i just get into it too much and my brain starts trying to eat it's way out of my skullcap, causing me to have to SLAM my face into a brick wall and go buy a double cheeseburger from mcdonald's.

but i guess the real point of this paper should be on a more serious note. something in this game has changed me for the better, and i will share that thing with you right after this commercial break...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
TACOS! RACOS! SOCOS! SANTORITO TACOS IS SO GOOD YOU BE LIKE "WOW HOW I SPEAK ENGLISH?!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"back to you, ted."

from now on, and any time in the future, i will live by this rule. never will i falter from this rule, for it has stabbed me so hard in the right cappilary that i think i might bleed to death if i try to remove it.

if your game does not have [BIG BEAR MEAT], then i am not interested in playing it.

THANKS FOLKS! CHECK BACK AGAIN WHEN I RAMBLE ABOUT WoW MORE!

PEACE AND LOVE!
-tres

it's late [5/5/06]--8:37am

2006-05-05T06:25:00.000-07:00

i'm tired

kinda tired of being alone, ya know?

when i was a kid i remember thinking that my biggest fear was to be alone.

well maybe now i have exactly that

and i don't like it.

looking back, i suppose that being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. there are many times that i really just want to be alone.

sometimes i wish i could just *poof* and make everyone disappear, but not forever.

it's like if you stop concentrating on someone for too long they disappear

and you never hear from them again.

then, as it usually happens, you hear something about this person or that person, slip up in your speech, and suddenly you have a new enemy.

it's like people allow life to destroy what makes them alive.

life?

what is life?

some sort of horrible, "oh FUCK i woke up again." "another GOD DAMNED DAY in HELL." experience?

why can't people just sit down and think for a few minutes?

calm down

chill out for a bit.

you don't have to be on a schedule 24 hours a day!

and you don't always have to be DOING something!

for christ's sake, i don't know if it's just me, but apparently i am the only person in the world who is perfectly content doing absolutely nothing.

now don't get me wrong

i love to go out and have a good time

have some people around sometimes

ya know

the good stuff

but i'm also a person who likes time to be alone

or to be around just people who understand what i'm trying to say

someone who, no matter what i say, or what crazy scheme i come up with, will always have a reply.

someone to keep my life interesting.

someone who, can one day hopefully show me exactly what "love" is.

there are few people that i have met that truly have the spark of life in their eyes.

the laughter of someone who understands the true meaning of laughter.

the smile of a person who understands the true meaning of a smile

and somehow we all understand

cuz we're "weird" "strange" "assholes"

haha.

unsensitized, yes

desensitized, no

we're just looking for someone who we can totally be ourselves with

our weird, strange, sometimes assholish selves with

and never have to worry about what might go wrong

or worry about some stupid bullshit

a life with complications, but undertakable complications

good planning

quick thinking

and love

"what is love
baby don't hurt me
don't hurt me
no more"

hah..

i'm sick of being alone with only those who do nothing for me in my prescence

i want some excitement

some adventure

and someone to fucking go crazy on

who doesn't mind going crazy on me.

--the end

random1

2006-03-20T20:33:00.000-08:00

it was really just another day. two clouds in the entire sky. brown, but hey, what was new? this is how the sky has been since the age of the asparagus heads.

i remember it like it was yesterday, though it was more than 5 centuries ago.

they came from near and far
slowly taking over everything that they saw

making the world their world.
their little asparagus filled world.
in their little asparagus heads
it all made sense.

but what were they?
they were not men.
they were but asparagi
concentrated on money
power
HUNGER
and fear
more than anything else.

slowly they overpowered us
brought us to our knees
but we coulnd't see how far we had fallen
because we were not used to standing up.
not after the great war.

those who have fallen
have not fallen in vain
and yet there are some
who do not even know
that there have been defeats
that there have been battles
that there is war.

we sit in our chairs
becoming asparagus heads
just like the rest of the crowd
and while we may dress in different costumes
or take different forms
we're all the same.

some of us have just become so englufed in being a vegetable
that we forget to recognize their own peril.

asparagus goes bad
so do we.

and now i sit here
in this crumpled container
with a box of red cherry tomatoes
and a bucket of unsalted butter.

and i wonder to myself
exactly what
asparagus tastes like.

where i am currently computing.

2006-03-16T01:02:00.000-08:00

my main #1 cosmic nigger sam krozonik came to visit me from pensacola this weekend.

it was fucking kick ass. sam is kickass. end of story.

we set up our comps in my living room [on random objects] and while marc and i lanned, sam rocked it on WoW.

it was sweet.

of course, that all came to an end when my lovely mother got home.

in despair, we went to walmart, then radio shack to find a female to female adapter.

we ran a 50ft network cable from my cable modem inside out of my window, through the grass, and into my hub, which then ran network cables into my shed, giving 3 of us internet connectivity with convienient house disconectivity.

marc and i have been in here since then lanning. it's awesome.

awesome.
-tres

ps [lolmyspace]

deception

2006-03-15T13:14:00.000-08:00

in the stone quiet
night time breathing
static over the radio
eternal darkness subsides
as sounds of symphonia try
to break away from what sound is
to break away from the lie
to become something more than
mankind has ever dreamed
suicidal, but happy
confusion up to the seems

lying here
face down
nothing to see
but a calloused other pressure
always perched right on top of me
and it's like there's nothing sacred
cuz nothing is real
and there are millions of feelings
that no one chooses to feel
like 30,000 suns
with light everlasting
all shut out by a wall
of gradient fantastic
blurry
but like a flash of light it burns and it sinders
and no one comes to conclusions
siphoning all of its embers
and in a million worlds
turning and looking
are the faces of the innocent
torn and shooken
and who am i
a supernova
something should happen
but it's over now
and i am hearing nothing but static
deception.

suckaz gotta use myspace

2006-03-14T00:11:00.000-08:00

cuz they can't make up shit on their own!

now i'm gonna write a little bit over this thing
why not, right?
i mean, this is the internet.
i'm literally allowed to say anything i want [except for stuff i don't want my friends to see, or stuff that's too mean to say online, or "no, i don't want timmy to see that i wrote this message" or "uh, i hate that bitch and i don't want her knowing my buisness"]
so here i go.

what the fuck is the point of having a myspace? i ask myself this many times during the day as i refresh my page. every now and then i'll have a short, 2 or maybe 3 sentence conversation with a person who, in the reality of my day, i probably woulnd't have even talked to!
MY GOD! IT'S SO WEIRD!
I mean, imagine it! Rather than living your life, ya know, going outside, drinking, driving, getting into a wreck and dying, you sit here on your computer and chat away to all the other lamers who didn't do a god damn thing that night.
oh oh, wait. i have to stop and say this first. my favorite. FAVORITE myspacers and general internet users: COCK MONGLERS!~
"omg omg omg i love you you're so cool cuz omg omg i want to be like you we're so the same person omg omg i want to blow up the world and eat babies too oo oo pick me i want to be your friend and omg we have cool hair together and we love the same band because omg omg omg omg omg omg I HAVE NO PERSONALITY BECAUSE I AM NOTHING BUT PROCESSED INFORMATION THROUGH A COMPUTER SCREEN! I CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTANTLY WILL BADGER YOU WITH QUIZZES AND TESTS AND NEVER GIVE YOU ANY TRUE REMOTE REASON TO HAVE ME ON YOUR LIST OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT I WILL BOTHER YOU IF YOU DO NOT ADD ME BACK! I KNOW YOU!!!!!"
fuck you. get a life, god dammit. [sorry sara, i'm getting into this]

i've been on the internet for years, ok.
all of you people bitching about myspace.
shut the fuck up.

at least you didn't have to live through the evolution of:
newsgroups
AOL
mp3s
napster
IRC
anime
video games
THE [PUBLICLY AVAILABLE!] INTERNET
livejournal
deadjournal
BLOGGER
deviantart
sheezyart
freewebz
geocities
flash videos
4 CHAN!!!
MYSPACE!?!

it was all given to you by the computer geeks.
me.
us.
the people who own this territory.
the guy who, when your shit breaks, he knows how to fix it, even if he has no idea what the problem is.
it's all user based.
it's all your fault.

so back to the original question: what is the point of having a myspace?

i suppose that the reason we all have a myspace is because we all like the idea of our own little area dedicated to us. a momento that says "no matter what, even if i die tommorow, people will know who i am. my myspace cleverly and expertly describes the person that i am, even moreso than my true self, which is why i seem FAKE online, even though i'm not."

truth is.
myspace is bullshit.

the internet is supposed to be about rogue information, asians, porn, violence, being an asshole, dealing with assholes, blowing the brains out of others, stealing, shit talking, and networking.

and in that query
myspace has done its job.

internet = win.
l2p